Gus Gus (and poor Patches, too)

If you have pets, you're probably like me and you're constantly buying stupid stuff for them that they don't care about or need. Well, that's really how I used to be and I haven't been like this for some time. I used to always buy our two cats toys, but then I realized they thrive on things like bra straps and wadded up pieces of paper. Thus, I find myself eighty-sixing a cute little guy that hasn't had much play in this house with our cats. I named him Gus, because I thought it was cute, so getting rid of him is particularly difficult for me (which is what happens with all things you name). For example, I remember one time Mark got this rat to feed to his snake, Norman, but he wouldn't eat it. I named him Patches and he sat in our study for a couple of days just chilling in a little cage. I fed him some food we had around and I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered that rats can be kind of endearing. But then, one day I came home from work to find Patches was gone. I learned moments later that Norman - in a selfish moment of self-preservation - had become hungry and Patches had become supper. I was pretty upset as Patches was really cute. I really felt like he had become my pet, but I guess that was silly. Poor patches. Anyway, Patches was alive and all and Gus isn't, so I guess this example is pretty pointless. Thus, Gus gets to move out of this house and into his own digs.

Here's Gus: