Monday, January 31, 2011

Shine on

This morning I don't believe I heard Pierre let out an aidez-moi (help me) as I took out the trash. I hope he finds a like-minded chef in whatever land fill he ends up occupying. Today, I find myself in quite a hurry to find something to eighty-six before all the power lines become too heavy with a thick sheet of ice before they snap and send us all back to a time before electricity (and the Internet! EEK!). That's right, nearly a quarter of the country is bracing for homewardboundness as another large storm system sweeps across the nation. Mark went to the store today and characterized it as madness and the news is using words like "catastrophic" regarding the weather that's currently bearing down on us. I am not afraid. We have enough eggs, milk, and bread to go on for some time. We have a full tank of gas for our grill. I even managed to score gas for my car on the way home - yes, I'm one of those people that had an empty tank on the day Armageddon decided to take vengeance - as I was the only compact car at the station that could occupy the tiny space next to an oddly placed pump (sorry SUV suckers!). Thus, before I drag on any longer in this post, today I will eighty-six a pair of "Shine" batteries. That's right, not Duracell or EverReady (this word was in spell check!), just quite simply, Shine brand. They were part of Pierre's life for quite some time where they were nestled comfortably in his cozy chef hat. They are "extra heavy duty", made in Taiwan, and in the company's effort to make me feel like they are somewhat environmentally conscious folk, they have a baby pine tree printed on them. (Aw.) Alas, like Pierre they are useless; thus,they will make their way to the battery recycling bin at work - if I can ever get there again!
And now off to what I do best - nest and bake. I mean, I'm gonna need something to eat if it's dark and the power's out!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Adieu, Pierre (je suis desolee)

I discovered today that our utensil drawer is ripe for eighty-sixing. Thus, I found this trendy meat thermometer in there that I either got for myself or my mom got for me:

Isn't his mignon (cute)! Anyway, Pierre, which is what I call him due to his French-like look, has been in the drawer for probably two years now without use. As I just said, I'm unsure if my mom got this for me or if I got it for myself as there's a temperature range taped on the back which must have been cut from the box Pierre came in and that seems like something either my mom or I would do (wow that was a long sentence!). The temperature range numbers on the back correspond to the guide engraved on Pierre's torso - very rare, rare, medium, med. well, well, pork/poultry. Again, I remember about two years ago when I took Pierre out to the grill to pierce a piece of meat and nothing happened. I checked his batteries - tucked cleverly in his chef's hat - but that didn't seem to be the problem. Thus, after that point Pierre's ability to accurately predict meat temperatures was haphazard and dangerous. It was frustrating to me, but instead of throwing him away I just shoved him back in the drawer. I suppose I thought with time he would heal (isn't that what happens to electronics?). Anyway, I saw him today and just realized if he isn't useful then he must be eighty-sixed. Thus, with that we bid Pierre adieu.

I am a puppet

If you have or have ever had a pet you know this: pets rule our lives. I am definitely a puppet to our two cats. The worst habit I have is trying to find food that they like. Since getting our cats three years ago, I've tried lots of different foods. The last food was a dry Fancy Feast, which they loved, but it caused too much random throw up for my taste. So, we're on to greater things and after our one cat suffered a bladder infection I went more expensive - now we use Blue Buffalo (highly recommended). But, this most recent switch left me with a huge stockpile of Fancy Feast. So, tonight when my friend Phil was over - another cat lover - I gave him the two giant containers of Fancy Feast. I do admit that while the food is gone the containers will make their way back so I can use them for the new food, but it's still an eighty-six as something left that isn't coming back to our home.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Ahhh...we meet again

In almost all kitchens, we have the catch all drawer that contains something like this: scissors, matches from a restaurant we went to, a rubber band from some broccoli we bought forever ago, a measuring tape, batteries...but some of us have two drawers. (Go figure, we have two.) My second drawer is full of sauce packets. My "sauce drawer" contains sauces of the pseudo-Mexican variety - Taco Bell - and pseudo-Chinese kind - any American Chinese place not in a "Chinatown" area. Today, I realized that nearly all of the Taco Bell sauce in this drawer is rancid. We don't eat out much, so I suppose that's why. I was cracking open a packet and realized the sauce was mostly brown and the water was separating from the actual spices. [Insert grossed out look on face here.] So, all of the Taco Bell sauce has been extracted - as has the spicy mustard sauce that is no longer a mustard color - and they have been properly eighty-sixed in our trash bin. The soy sauce remains - I'm pretty sure the shelf life on soy sauce is infinity and that it could survive a nuclear holocaust.

Note: The title of this post, "Ahhh...we meet again," is a quote from a Taco Bell mild sauce packet. 

Friday, January 28, 2011


It's hard to be a woman. I mean, you get sucked into buying all of these products you don't need, particularly for your hair or face. I bought some "volumizing spray" from Freeman. They make lotions, shampoos, etc. The theory behind this volumizing spray is that when you're hair's wet, you just spray this on there and it makes your hair thicker and shinier. Besides the fact that it smells very nice, I didn't notice much difference. Plus, my hair isn't even that thin so it seems like a useless product for me. Lastly, I'm trying to get away from using parabens and this product is full of them. And, I like Freeman because they don't test on animals; their bottle says "[t]ested in Paradise by friends and family. No animal testing. Contains no animal ingredients. Safe for color-treated hair". I'm sure at the time I bought this - who knows when that was - this is what really sold me. I try to not buy anything tested on animals or with animal products. Not to mention, Freeman makes it sound like Paradise is an actual place, as it's capitalized and all, so that's always a selling point. Anyway, I haven't used this product in years and because parabens are bad, this product is getting poured out and the bottle recycled.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It's (not) in the bag

I bought a new sheet set about a week ago, the nice tee shirt kind. I bought then because they're cheaper than my expensive taste 400 plus thread count taste - I may not be much of a snob in life, but I am a self-proclaimed sheet snob. Also, we simply needed new sheets. They came in a little bag that has a little cotton tie you can cinch down on whatever is in the bag. After I removed the sheets from the bag, I asked Mark what he thought - should we keep the bag? I mean, it may actually be useful for something. The bag has been sitting on our kitchen table since then. In the meantime, I saw a Hoarders episode where they say that those persons with hoarding tendencies will keep things that are useless to most all other people with the justification that they can use those things for another purpose. This sheet bag is the perfect example. I mean, for what purpose will I ever use this? I won't, so without further adieu, it's trashed.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Are they even really Danish?

I wonder who came up with the little tins of Danish cookies stores sell at the holidays. You know, the cookies that are all vanilla colored and are half the size of the palm or your hand. Some of them are shaped like pretzels, others like old-fashioned belt buckles, some have large granules of sugar on top of them. The same cookies that go stale about a day after you open them. They are usually in tins that have winter scenes on them. Anyway, in the past I would save tins like these. Why? I suppose I thought I would reuse them, maybe as a sewing or button tin. But, as we run out of space more and more as each day goes by, the tins will no longer be kept. Thus, the Danish cookie tin from this last holiday season will be recycled.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The glass is empty

At some point, I decided it was a good idea to buy a ton of glass pitchers. I remember buying two of them when I was in law school, and Mark retrieved one that has been dormant behind our canned goods for a while. There may be another one back there somewhere, but I haven't had time to search tonight. This container is the old school type that's shaped like a large carafe that gets smaller at the opening, has grooves around the outside of it, and has a stopper on top. Because one can only have so many ways to store and/or serve lemonade and iced tea, I'm getting rid of one of my law school pitchers today. I was holding on to it because it reminded me of my old place and time in law school, and then I realized that I hated law school. I did like my apartment a lot, but overall, the experience was exhausting, expensive, and self-deprecating. The only reason why I wouldn't undo the whole thing is because I met a few really great people and I wouldn't want to change that (I met a bunch of really nasty people, too, but no need to go there).
Here's a photo of the container:
Sidenote: We saw Black Swan tonight - very good. I'm sure Natalie Portman will get her Oscar nod tomorrow morning and the competition should be worried.

Sunday, January 23, 2011


I threw a baby shower for one of my friends almost three years ago. I was lucky enough to find some really cheap (yet pretty trendy) cards that were blank inside and had an old-style baby carriage on the front that said "little precious" under it. Besides the possible Lord of the Rings-like saying, they were nice, complete with a little ribbon that tied through the center of the card before placing it in the envelope. I found these cards just yesterday when I was searching for some paperclips. There are around fifteen of them. One of my employees is pregnant, so I figure she may be able to use them as thank you cards or something after she has her baby shower. Since they are just taking up space in a drawer, I will be sure to take them to work with me tomorrow. If she doesn't want them, I will send them with the Goodwill stuff.
Below is a pic of one of the invitations. I got a new phone so I'm still trying to figure things out so that's why this is so small, but hopefully this shows enough detail.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Gus Gus (and poor Patches, too)

If you have pets, you're probably like me and you're constantly buying stupid stuff for them that they don't care about or need. Well, that's really how I used to be and I haven't been like this for some time. I used to always buy our two cats toys, but then I realized they thrive on things like bra straps and wadded up pieces of paper. Thus, I find myself eighty-sixing a cute little guy that hasn't had much play in this house with our cats. I named him Gus, because I thought it was cute, so getting rid of him is particularly difficult for me (which is what happens with all things you name). For example, I remember one time Mark got this rat to feed to his snake, Norman, but he wouldn't eat it. I named him Patches and he sat in our study for a couple of days just chilling in a little cage. I fed him some food we had around and I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered that rats can be kind of endearing. But then, one day I came home from work to find Patches was gone. I learned moments later that Norman - in a selfish moment of self-preservation - had become hungry and Patches had become supper. I was pretty upset as Patches was really cute. I really felt like he had become my pet, but I guess that was silly. Poor patches. Anyway, Patches was alive and all and Gus isn't, so I guess this example is pretty pointless. Thus, Gus gets to move out of this house and into his own digs.

Here's Gus:

Friday, January 21, 2011


I used to love it when Mark - my other half - traveled a lot. He used to fly business class and he would always get all of these fun toiletries and other relevant feel good travel stuff. They came in cute little baggies, fashioned with the airline's name on them, and would be full of all kinds of goodies. For example, there would be ear plugs, eye masks, mini packs of tissue, adorable-sized toothpastes and facial mists, fold-up toothbrushes, and of course, the worst pair of socks imaginable. I was ever-so surprised when I stumbled upon an unused pair of these socks in our chest of drawers this morning. They were still neatly folded - as they had to fit into that cute baggy from whence they came somehow - so I unfolded them and I put my hand inside one. In a word: awful. It's like unwashed one-hundred thread count sheets. Then, I realized that airlines don't give you anything anymore, particularly not socks.Well, I guess this isn't completely true as when Mark and I flew to Europe two years ago he charmed us into business glass and I got a complimentary copy of The Times. I suppose if you get first class you're set, but let's face it, that's a ridiculous amount of cash. I suppose these socks should be placed in an airline history museum, but I don't live near one of those so I will give them away instead.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I can see the light

About a year ago, I bought and received and bunch of gadgets that you can plug into one of your USB ports on your PC. They ranged from fans to lights. I threw most of them out because I never used them, but tonight I found a leftover LED snake light. I think I used this thing once and thought this isn't very useful. I mean, even when I type in the dark I don't need to see anything as I know where the keys are, plus, I can't ever see a time when I really need to type in the dark. I guess that's the whole purpose of a little light like this, but I'm not really sure. It's another one of those gadgets that nobody really needs but a lot of people have. Actually, maybe this was an impulse by somewhere because it was really cheap and I thought why not? Besides the fact that it's fun to twist around, it's useless and has to make a one-way trip to the Goodwill.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

100% useless

I thought I would look cool in a bandanna while working out, you know, I could fold it just right and tie it on top of my head to hold my hair down. I bought one at a flea market. It's white on black and cost $1. It's one of the typical bandannas with the paisley-like, uniform design on it. It's square and is apparently 100% cotton as that's what it says on one of the corners (not on a tag, but written on the actual piece of fabric). It took me one time to realize I do not look cool with a bandanna around my head - working out or otherwise. I tried it on several ways at home and then threw it in a drawer because I realized it just wasn't gonna happen. I don't know why I didn't just get rid of it, but I am now. At least this was one of my cheaper lessons in life.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ch, ch, ch, Chia!

The Chia pet is a ridiculous invention. It's one of those "As Seen on TV" things that exploded for no known reason. Kind of like the Snuggie. And yes, I have owned a Chia Pet and I currently own a Snuggie. I keep the latter in my car for "Snug-mergencies". I guess I think I'm clever saying it that way. Anyway, the last Chia pet I received, I say last as it seems like I had one before but I can't remember when, was given to me by my brother and his girlfriend. I remember getting it and thinking OK, why not. I did what the instructions said and I placed the seedlings in water and smoothed them over the Chia pet - for some reason, I can't remember which Chia I received, but I think it was something like a Simpson's character's head (or something in that vein). Anyway, a few days later, I found my Chia pet, actually, let's call it a Chia "head" as that's what it was, in a state of complete and total disrepair. The seedlings had only sprouted in all the wrong places and my Chia head looked like it had been a victim of medical malpractice of the hair plug variety. Then, I noticed the fruit flies. Gross. I don't do fruit flies. If I see a fruit fly, that's that. So, the Chia head made it's way into the trash. But, the funny thing about my Chia pet/head/kit was that it came with a miniature deck of Chia playing cards. Why? Who knows. That is the complete and total brilliance behind those things that fall under the "As Seen on TV" category of goods. As any decent I-can-use-these-later-so-I'll-store-them-in-this-random-basket-person would do, I placed the cards in a basket on my kitchen table. I think I received my Chia head some three years ago and just yesterday I found the miniature cards, unsealed in a plastic wrapper, in the same basket as the classless sunglasses I eighty-sixed yesterday.  Therefore, today's eighty-six should be obvious at this point. I truly hope the cards make a great gift for some little kid out there somewhere.

Monday, January 17, 2011

When eighty-sixing pays off!

I know I've already posted for today, but I had to add something exciting! While eighty-sixing a bunch of old mail that's been sitting around forever, I found a $25 movie gift card! I'm less than three weeks into this resolution and it's already paying off. HAPPY DAY!

Jackie Oh-no

I found a pair of black sunglasses on my kitchen table in my "catch all" basket. I think this basket will produce many items that meet eight-six criteria, but these sunglasses come first. I know I was talking about old workout videos yesterday, but these sunglasses are a much easier target. I think these sunglasses are from my friend Christa's wedding last June. They were given to members of the wedding party so when we walked out when we were announced we could look cool. From a distance, they look fine, but up close, not so much. My style is more Jackie O than eighties Bono. That being said, I'm sure that someone at the Goodwill will really enjoy these, day or night. Also, since my friend Christa and I love the Goodwill, she will respect the donation.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

This maid does not mist

Next to where the now eighty-sixed rancid truffle oil used to sit is an olive oil misting bottle. I call it that because I don't really know it's real name, but I think this sums it up - it's a bottle you fill with olive oil and you can lightly spray it in a pan. I used it a few times and then I just felt it was unnecessary. It's just another kitchen device I was roped into buying at a weak moment. The weird thing is I actually remembering buying it - picking it up off the shelf in TJMaxx and everything. But, alas, it is taking up space and I don't use it anymore. As to what tomorrow's eight-six post may bring, I've been eyeing some old work out videos I haven't used in a long time. I expect some humor may come out of that.

Sidebar: I titled this entry based on something I did while in Niagara Falls - I figured the play on words this time would be lost on many, so here's a link:

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Martha, Martha, Martha

There is something you should know about me: I love Martha Stewart. Ever since I can remember, I've been fascinated with her. It might be because my mother looks a lot like her - albeit younger - or that I admire her ability to prove women can be domestic goddesses and badasses simultaneously. The one thing I really enjoy is her magazine, Living. Having said that, I know I'm going to have to get rid of some of my these magazines as they will eventually overrun our home. I've actually decided - in an attempt to save money - to not renew my subscription, as well. That was rough, but I work right near a Borders so I can sneak a peak at lunch. Thus, I've been tearing out things that I just love from each magazine - after making sure to take in every precious page - and telling myself I will then recycle what's left of the magazine (of course, I've always removed the four complimentary recipes from each issue). I've often used pages over the years to wrap gifts, as that's environmental and my friends enjoy the recipes I try to wrap on the topside so they can use them if they like. Today I'm recycling the September 2010 Home Issue. Before I do so, I will share some pieces that were featured in this addition. Now, what you must know if you don't already, is that Martha doesn't live in the same world as you and me. She doesn't have to and she shouldn't have to - she's earned her way into a world where stories about "how to stock your pantry" and "how to host a modern tea party" are commonplace and ubiquitous. But, that's what so awesome about Living. It's above and beyond and makes me think outside of the norm and allows me to dream. I will share with you three pieces that were in the September 2010 issue that were of particular interest to me. One was her story on icing. Yes, that's correct, icing. I need not say more. The second was a story about a man named Carlos Cortes - there's an accent on the last "e" that I can't insert - who is a faux-bois (directly translated from French as fake wood) artisan. This means that he makes furniture out of cement that he fashions to look like wood. Third, was the story about sedums, which are extremely forgiving perennials. These pieces were just a few of the great reads in this one issue. It will be with a heavy heart that I recycle it. I hope Martha isn't out there in cyberspace reading this.

Friday, January 14, 2011


Sometimes one need go no farther than their kitchen to discover things that need thrown away - I myself discovered this today. Up on a shelf where I keep my often used sea salt and olive oil, I realized there was a bottle of white truffle oil I'd had for some time but knew I'd only used once. For those of you who don't know, truffles are haute cuisine fungi. Here's a link to these seemingly turdesque, yet edible, fancy spores: After using the product one time, to saute some potatoes, I decided it was too pungent for me. Now, keep in mind that I probably can't afford the type of truffle oil that Martha Stewart keeps in her well-stocked pantry, but I have a feeling even the top-shelf stuff may repulse me. But, because of my quasi-hoarder-like nature - that's right, quasi - I placed it back on the shelf as I thought maybe I could find a good use for it later. So today, after at least a year of using the product and almost as if I felt like double-dog-daring myself after a decent Friday at work, I decided to take down the bottle of white truffle oil, remove the cork, and smell it. I'm not joking when I tell you that I instantly gagged so loudly I surprised even myself. It didn't smell that good to begin with, but now it smells simply rancid. It will take everything in my power after this post to do the right thing: poor the contents down the drain and recycle the bottle. (I really just want to throw the entire thing in a dumpster far, far away.) I leave you with a photo of these awesome specimens (from the same link above - Wikipedia). That's right, this isn't just considered edible, but rich people edible.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Feel the Warmth

I got a device - I believe for myself - that you plug in and place a cup of coffee or candle on to keep warm. I think maybe I used the device only a hand full of times, at which point it got pushed into a corner of my desk drawer in my office where it could only be seen by happenstance. I saw it last Spring, in May, when I moved offices, but I just put it back in another corner or another drawer in another office. Today,when I decided I had to do something in my office besides work and feeling like others are getting undeserved praise, I again found the candle/coffee cup warmer. It just doesn't interest me. First off, it's most likely dangerous for me to use this device in my office; it doesn't have auto shut-off and there is a chance I would forget about it. Second, I rarely ever drink my coffee so slowly I need a device to keep it warm. So, this device made for an easy eighty-six entry today and it will be placed in the Goodwill pile (I can't imagine how many jobs I'm going to create through all of my donations!). Additionally, I'm thankful for writing this small paragraph in my blog today as it's a nice diversion from my three-hundred page novel that I'm editing! I wish I had more to say right now - so I didn't have to get back to it at this very moment - but the thing isn't going to publish itself!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Not "Palette"able

Make up, make up, make up. I've got more make up than I can handle. It's the biggest, useless seller out there - next to wrinkle creams - that inundates our drawers. Don't get me wrong, I do wear make up, but for me, the make up I wear must be easy. For example, I do not place foundation on a cotton wedge to apply to my face; I simply put in on my fingertips and go. Also, I don't normally curl my lashes as that would make putting on mascara a two-step process. (Note: I will curl them for a special occasion.) I will put eyeshadow on with a brush as that's how it's done. Another thing I don't do is buy a lip product that requires a tool for application. What I mean by that is having to dip say a brush into a the lipstick and then apply it - tubes of lipstick or lip gloss are acceptable. So, today I find myself letting go of a Clinique Lip Palette my best friend Lynsay got me some time ago. It is, unfortunately, one of the above mentioned scenarios where a brush must be used to apply the lipstick. I did what I normally do with new make up - vigilantly followed the rules and applied as I should for a week or so - and then the palette got placed along with the rest of my make up bone yard. While the palette was a good gift - and was probably a good faith effort by Lynsay to make me more motivated to feel prettier and wear better make up - its dormancy is now its defining characteristic and it must be trashed (plus, I hear make up has a shelf life anyway). The palette was also a way to raise money for breast cancer - as it has a pink case and a mirror inside with a pink ribbon - so I do feel good that money went towards that cause. Nonetheless, the palette will be in my home no longer.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Off to work

Because eighty-sixing is my resolution - thus I get to define it - I have decided that anything that makes its way out of our home is eighty-sixed. Thus, like the US Constitution Book I took to work yesterday, I will be taking something else tomorrow. This time it's The Law Student's Handbook, from Westlaw. Westlaw is a legal search engine lawyers use to find cases, articles, etc. The competitor to Westlaw is Lexis, and I'm sure they offer many of the same things, I have no idea. Anyway, this small book, the size of a small paperback novel, contains several sections, including The Constitution, the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, and the Federal Rules of Evidence. Don't worry, I won't bore you to death with what all of these sections mean or say. I will; however, share what I found interesting about this book when I found it: 3 tabbed sections. The first is Amendment X, which basically says whatever isn't delegated to the United States to do is delegated to the states. The second tab is Article III, section 2, basically talks about courts jurisdiction over matters. The third tab is under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, Rule 11, which references the signing of pleadings (documents filed in court). Anyway, it's going to work as I can't bear to look at it here at home where I try my hardest to forget my chosen career path and the many frustrations - and mounds of debt - that come with it.

Monday, January 10, 2011


I haven't made up my mind yet if what I'm doing today is really eighty-sixing something, or not. I found a pocket-sized version of the Constitution in my desk drawer and I'm going to take it to work. I'm not really sure who gave me this useful booklet, but it seems to be something that came from the National Constitution Center, which opened in Philadelphia July 4, 2003. I really enjoy reading The Constitution. Even now as I thumb through this handy little booklet I'm interested in the ideas and thoughts that went behind constructing the document. I found the booklet tonight while looking for something else which is very ironic as I was thinking about the VI Amendment on my drive home as NPR played a piece on the man who gunned down six people in Arizona on January 6th; one of which was a child, another was a federal judge, the others were all people loved by someone somewhere that misses them dearly. He also wounded many, including Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords, who was shot in the head and still struggles to survive. I started thinking about the VI Amendment because of what it says:

"In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed; which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defence."

And it is with those first four words that nearly all of use search for fairness: "in all criminal prosecutions". It's true, in all instances, even like the one that happened Saturday. It's not that I'm a stranger to things like this - I've had the first hand experience of working on cases of people who are facing the death penalty to cases where people steal because they need to eat - but each time I found myself questioning a concept of equal fairness for those that killed several children versus those that stole because they were starving. While I know it's right under the law, it's still hard to grasp.

I will leave you with Lady Justice who balances equally truth and fairness on her scales and is blindfolded for objectivity. Her sword symbolizes reason and justice. She comes in many forms, but all symbolize fairness in the legal system for any party so involved.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Seeing is believing

Like a lot of people, I wear contacts. I bet in our medicine cabinet/linen closet there are at least ten contact lens cases buried in there somewhere - I guess I'll get to that eventually. But, just now, I found some disinfectant that expired May of 2005. It's the same type of disinfectant I accidentally placed on a lens and then placed it directly on my eye - before diluting and soaking as suggested - when I was sixteen years old. This caused my pupil to get big and small over and over again, even though I wasn't stepping out of a dimly lighted room into a brightly lighted room. It was very scary.. This particular cleaner used to involve - I say "used to" as I'm sure they don't even make it anymore - placing contacts in a holding container-like disc overnight. I haven't done that in years and I don't plan to do it anymore. I actually get a little scared to think that I ever put this product in my eye, even if diluted, as it contains hydrogen peroxide and phosphoric acid.Then again, the bottle is kind enough to state in capital letters "CONTAINS NO PRESERVATIVES". I guess that doesn't matter much is it contains acid, now does it? I will now dump the liquid down the drain and set the bottle in the recycling.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The best idioms involve kitties

This is my quickest post yet as the wildcard playoffs are on tonight and the Colts and Jets are going to play any second! I keep a healthy stash of things I can regift. I know, it's kind of mean, but I don't have that much money and who's to say that something I don't want someone else I know won't want or need? Anyway, I have something I've had so long I don't want to place it in my regift stash in fear that I will regift it to the person who gave it to me. It's a Cat Lover Magnetic Poetry Set. You know, it's one of those things that has a bunch of magnetic words you put up on the fridge and you can spell things, but this one has lots of cat vocabulary. The thing I enjoy most about the gift are all the sayings on the box: "over 240 kitty idioms"; "no matter how these words fall they always land on their feet"; "over 240 word magnets for creating catty compositions". While I like the gift OK, and I like cats as we have two, it's just not something I'll use. Thus, I've placed it in "give to Goodwill bag" with the Al-Anon book and other soon-to-be-discarded articles. It will make a purrfect gift for someone else (I can't believe I just wrote that).

Friday, January 7, 2011


I bought some acidophilus a while back as someone - I can't remember who - convinced me that it would be good for my stomach. The bottle I have actually says that "acidophilus aids in reestablishing and reinforcing intestinal flora". This is just a scientific way of saying "you will go #2 more if you take these". I'm not sure why I was talking to anyone about my stomach - as I nearly never have stomach problems (except when I have stomach flu) - but I apparently fell for it and started taking the pills. I had heard that a lot of what I already needed was in yogurt, which I learned while watching commercials that offer too much information, but I thought it might still be a good idea. It was a bad idea. Here's the thing: If you're already regular you don't need acidophilus. It's just messing with an already good thing and that never bodes well. So, when I saw these old, forgotten pills in the hall closet last night I thought, "why did I keep these?" Then, I looked at the expiration date: March, 2006. Seriously? Thus, they are trashed as of one minute from the end of this post (the bottle recycled, of course).

Thursday, January 6, 2011

A sobering entry

My work has a book sale every year to raise money. The employees bring it whatever books they don't want anymore and all the money raised by selling them goes to charities. Because I'm a self-proclaimed bibliophile, I will attend any book sale. At last year's book sale, I was interested and intrigued by a book I found, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon. If you don't know what Al-Anon is, it's a support group for persons who live with, have family members, etc., that are alcoholics. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon is basically written like a daily devotional. I remember daily devotionals well from my childhood, as my grandmother always had one lying around her house. It usually had a somewhat cheesy picture of Jesus on the cover. The concept is simple: Each day the participant would read a Christian passage about a variety of topics, from piety to virtue. The idea is to remind yourself of your Christian faith and how you can better live your life through God. I remember I had a daily devotional at one point in time, but I don't remember consistently having one. I know that as of a month ago Mark's grandmother has one sitting on a table at her house - and it was marked to the current date - so I do know they are still used. Anyway, the reason why I bought the book - at the bargain basement price of fifty cents - was out of curiosity. I mean, who gets rid of their Al-Anon book? It just seems so odd to me. Anyway, I looked through the book a little - hoping to find some comments in the margin or name inside, to be honest - and I read some of the pages, too, but don't really want to keep it. I will place it in my Goodwill pile. Before I do, I will leave you with "Today's Reminder" from the book dated today, January 6th. "When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude. I realize how much depends on my point of view; my own wrong habits of thinking and acting must be corrected and only I can do that." And then then quote that you are supposed to repeat aloud, "Let me not expect easy solutions to my problems. Make me realize that many of my difficulties were created by me, by my own reactions to the happenings in my daily life. I ask only to be guided to a better way."

One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc, NY, NY, 1988, p.6.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I am properly hydrated

It has been brought to my attention that I have too many water bottles. Did I know this before it was brought to my attention? Of course. While this isn't a very interesting post - as I'm still in my weakened condition from my stomach flu - it is time that I get rid of at least one of my water bottles. So, I choose the red OGGI one. I got it because it's some kind of metal so as to cut down on Bisphenol A (BPA) - which is a toxic agent found in plastic - but the problem is that it constantly leaks. It also has an extremely sharp top so when I drink out of it I have to pay attention so as not to cut my lip and it takes forever to unscrew the lid to even get a drink out of it, which is the last thing I want to deal with when I'm dying of thirst from a tough workout. Thus, it has been placed in the recycling bin and I can say with confidence that I won't miss it. I have other BPA-free water bottles I can use in its place.
Because I think it's important, here's a link to more on BPA. The Canadians got this one right: avoid it.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Please give your support to stop "butt dialing"

Allow me to introduce you to my old cell phone, the Samsung SGH-d407. (It's AMAZING how far cell phones have come since this one; it's also amazing how far Cingular has come now that it's part of AT&T). While I love Samsung phones - as my current phone is a Samsung and it is just exhibiting its death cry after two-and-a-half years of torture in one of my many purses - the Samsung SGH-d407 was awful. I suffered through two years of this phone "butt dialing" everyone. This is a general term I use to account for each time my phone would call someone - in my purse, in my pocket, on my nightstand! - without direction. One might ask: Why do you still have this phone? Well, it wasn't nostalgia; rather, I had a bag of phones I donated to a battered women's shelter and somehow this demon phone weaseled its way out of that bag. At this point, I'm pretty much over it and I plan to trash it (after attempting to recycle the battery inside of it, of course). Anyway, this phone is a nice diversion for me this evening as I just got done vomiting a taco salad I had for lunch in the bathroom - and a bunch of other stuff queued up behind it. I suppose Mark didn't have food poisoning after all and that that much dreaded stomach flu found and tackled me. Now that I've held true to my promise to myself to write in this blog everyday and get rid of something, too, I'm back to bed.

Monday, January 3, 2011


If you would have asked me at 12:30 a.m. this morning what I was going to eighty-six this evening I would have had a different answer than the one I had at 3:32 a.m. The latter time is when my boyfriend, Mark, ran to the bathroom and became violently ill in what I'm still hoping came from food and not a contagious virus. I want to blame the ground beef - as that's what vegetarians do best, blame meat - but a part of me thinks it's a nasty twenty-four-hour stomach flu bug that's surfaced of late. Anyway, when I went to the closet to find a thermometer, I was surprised to find we had two. This surprised me as I think just a couple of months ago I threw away another one. I picked them both up and hit the read button on the first to find out it didn't work; I did the same on the second one and discovered the same result. I looked at them and realized you can't insert a new battery in them. I went digging in the closet and, after much searching, I found the old mercury thermometer and used it. The problem with this thermometer is that it's not so easy to use on someone that has their head hanging in the toilet. So, on my way home from work today I bought a new thermometer - the kind you stick in your ear and it reads in one second. I thought about how easy it is and all of the times I had to sit and wait...and wait...and wait...for the mercury thermometer to read when I was a child. I guess the best thing about it was having my worried mom stand over me for a few minutes until she felt it had finally registered an accurate reading. Then, she would carefully extract it from underneath of my tongue and look at it in the light, turning it back in forth in her hand gently with the same motion you'd use to move a key around in a lock to release the latch, until the mercury inside lined up with a number. At last, the reading would show and usually the result was more rest, saltines, ginger ale, and broth. I suppose kids today don't have that extra few minutes of concerned mommy time. Anyway, I cannot help but digress, but the real point of this entry is throwing away the two thermometers that don't work at all. The mercury one stays as it does work and never seems to break. The ear one is useful for those times you just can't wait. So, while I acquired something new (and useful), I got rid of two old things (useless) in doing so. Another point: cheap thermometers are just that - cheap. I'm sure each of the ones I'm throwing away were about three bucks and the new one was twenty. Maybe the expensive one will last seven times longer. Also, let's hope that I'm able to write coherently tomorrow night and I'm not revisited by the ginger, cashew, and carrot soup I had for lunch. I probably should've put more thought into that before I ate it, considering the circumstances. (And, in case you were wondering, Mark's temperature was and is 98.6.)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Little Red Dress, 1, Bridesmaid Dress, 0

It was brought to my attention after posting about the little red dress that a long red dress was needed for the wedding, not something cocktail length. Well, this was bad because the little red dress was securely placed back in its home - my closet. However, I realized that I need not despair as buried even deeper in the closet was a much neglected, old bridesmaid dress I wore to my youngest step-brother's wedding in the summer of '04. Alas, the candy apple red dress was carefully plucked from the depths and is now at Anna's. While I suppose you're wondering if I have a photo of the dress - which I do because I obviously wore it to a wedding - I'm not sharing that. Basically, if you go to any run-of-the-mill bridal store you can find a large variety of strapless, completely un-one-of-a-kind satiny numbers - with matching shaw-like accoutrements - that look exactly like this long red dress I'm referencing. While I didn't think I'd be thrown an eighty-six curveball this early in the game, it seems that paying way too much for a bridesmaid dress doesn't hurt as much if someone else can wear it again (it's a rare thing for a bridesmaid dress to make an encore). Therefore, even though the little red dress is back in the closet, the long red dress isn't there so I'm still on course.I'm unsure what will be eighty-sixed tomorrow...I've had my eye on a couple of things today that are on the way out; I'm just not sure when.

Little Red Dress

Ah, yes, here it is, the little red dress that's been buried in my closet for months now that still has tags on it! I think I bought it last summer in the hopes that I would wear it somewhere. Well, that hasn't happened because I haven't really been anywhere that I thought I could wear it - at least in my opinion - and it's also a touch too small. I can put it on and zip it up, but I don't think this is a dress that I could wear while eating and/or sitting down. I write these words knowing that any woman that I've ever known can sympathize with this. While I know myself and know I could shave the few pounds that would allow me to wear this dress without risking suffocation, I need not do that. Why? Well, the perfect reason to give it away was presented to me on New Year's Eve. My friend Anna's cousin needs a red dress for a wedding in Mexico. She's skinnier than me so this should be just perfect for her. It's so Audrey Hepburn it kills me a little to give it away, but if I haven't worn it at this point then I probably won't. This dress will accompany me over to Anna's today where it will enjoy a much better life at a fiesta than in my cavernous closet.
Also, for those of you who have been wondering about Coco, she has been delicately packaged and will be dropped off at the post office today.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Pauvre (Poor) Coco

Some time ago, two very close friends of mine got me a bottle of Coco (Chanel) Eau de Parfum for my birthday. I wanted this perfume because I was confused and thought it was the perfume that Marilyn Monroe famously said she wore to bed every night. (Later I found out that was Chanel No. 5, which really doesn't smell that good if you ask me.) Anyway, my friends bought this expensive, large bottle of Coco. I wore it once and this guy that I worked with, who I thought was very handsome, told me I smelled like an old lady. I was barely out of college at the time and still susceptible to comments such as his; thus, the bottle made its way into the hallway "catch all" closet and was buried amongst all the other bottles of face lotions I used a few times and abandoned lotions that didn't properly moisturize but I don't have the heart to throw away. It wasn't until a couple of days ago, right before my presumptive mother-in-law was coming to stay with us, that I discovered it in the buried closet. I removed it, pulled off the cap and smelled it - it doesn't smell bad, but I don't like it. But, being the sentimental type that I am - which will surface regularly in this blog I'm sure - I didn't want to part with it. I know that I hold a "memory tag" for it, well, at least that's what the show Hoarders calls it. That's when someone has a tendency to keep something - even if it's just a receipt - because the memory of what the object stands for prevents them from throwing it out. I see the bottle and I think of my two good friends and the thoughtfulness behind getting me the bottle of perfume. So, carrying this memory tag burden with me, I placed it on top of the bureau with my other assorted array of perfumes that rarely get used. Then, when my presumptive mother-in-law was here, she was smelling the perfumes in our bedroom. Then, I saw her hand reach for Coco. I smiled thinking about who got me the bottle. She removed the cap and smelled the spray nozzle. She sprayed it on her wrist and buried her nose there to take in the smell. She looked at me and told me she liked it. I was surprised when I told her if she liked it she should take it. I thought did I say that?! But, immediately after I said it, I was surprised that I really meant it. The issue is she left and forgot to take it - and she doesn't live close - so now I have to ship it to her. It's sitting here next to me. I've taken the cap off several times while writing this to smell it and make sure I can really do this - commit to letting it go. I just smelled it again - it just isn't me. I got the bubble wrap out this morning so I can ship it. I just smelled it again! Anyway, right after I post this I'm going to find a little box and pack Coco all up so she can live a better life somewhere else. I will always remember Coco - the first item I eighty-sixed this year. Au revoir!

A resolution to live by

My mother and I went to breakfast the day after Christmas (2010). I was ordering the unhealthy veggie skillet - which is usually served with potatoes fried with onions and green peppers, topped with two eggs your way, and smothered with shredded cheese - when the idea of this blog came to me. After ordering the dish, I asked the server to "eight-six the green peppers." While I've seen lots of servers write "86" down on their tickets to mean "take this out of the dish," and I've seen it myself when I worked briefly as a cook at a restaurant, I had never really thought about the term the way I was right at that moment. I was thinking that "86" should apply to my cluttered life. I mean, I have so much junk I don't have space for it. Then, I buy more junk to sit with my junk. This isn't to say I'm a hoarder - as I'm definitely not - but there has to be somewhere this junk can go besides my home. Thus, "Eighty-six It" was born.  It will be fulfilling to write in this blog every day for many reasons, but mostly for these two: I will be forced to get rid of something each day and I must write every day. As today is January 1, 2011, there is no time to spare and something must be eighty-sixed.