Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Shower

The shower is where a bunch of stuff lurks that I once bought thinking I'd use it. I mean, I really had the best of intentions. I looked in there just now and trashed three things I know I haven't use in AT LEAST a year. The one body wash had hard water stains on it so bad I'm not sure it could be opened. Now, ask me what I did once I threw this stuff away? Replaced it with new stuff I bought today that I hope to use more frequently. AH! But, the good news is that I did get rid of something!

Monday, October 24, 2011


I got rid of two pairs of pants last night! I only have about forty left to go! I mean, if I haven't worn them in a year I should get rid of them, right? (The answer to this is yes...only my mother tilts her head to think about this one!)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I don't accept it

I don't accept two things today:

1) That the Sears Tower is now called Willis Tower (WRONG)
2) Women that work out with their hair down (WRONG)

Sorry I don't have more to say than this, but I'm sure I'll come up with something better soon.

Sears Tower

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Shut up!

I feel like I've posted about this before, but maybe not. People who look at their phone during a movie or play should be taken out front and flogged. It's annoying. The whole screen lights up and it ruins the ambiance. They make some device where you can jam the signals of cell phones around you (like in the immediate vicinity) and I think I'm going to look into it. Then again, then the idiots would probably spend even more time looking at their phones because they'd want to figure out what was wrong with it! AH!
I really don't have much more to say than that.

Monday, September 12, 2011

People who cut in line

Has it been that long? No post since August 23rd? You might ask if I've been under a rock or hiding out somewhere...nope. The answer is the general business of life has been interfering with my ability to blog (add in a touch of laziness and working on other writing projects and that's really about all I've been doing).

My post today is about people who cut in line. I don't like them. I was at a festival on Saturday and I confronted a woman about it telling her where the line began-way behind me and everyone else in front of me. She made some comment like "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the lady up there." She pointed, referencing the woman working the booth who had no idea that some cutter was manipulating the system. And with that flippant comment, I was really angry (not to mention I'd had a glass or two of sauvignon blanc so I'd found myself with a tad bit more courage than normal...even though I would have said something anyway). Then, she proceeded to ignore me and go to the front of the line anyway and get what she wanted before everyone else in line. She started to walk by me again and I reminded her "like I said, the line begins back there...we're ALL waiting." She proceeded to act like she didn't hear me and give me a general look of unbelievableness (if that's a word) with an obvious trace of fear that I actually confronted her and because I'm sure her whole life is based off of doing what she did without comment from anyone around her. Now, what I really wanted to do to finish our "conversation" was to smack that plate of cheesecake out of her hand that she had just purchased by cutting in line. I know, I know, definitely not a lady-like thing to do and definitely not a way to make a good example with children. So, instead I just gave her a look, the look that told her I could make an example of her if I wanted to but I was going to take the high road. The one good thing that came out of it was the woman behind me seemed pleased that someone said something. The bad thing that came out of it is that is actually ruined my time for a moment, and I just don't like that.

Anyway, today I condemn all of the people who cut in line and remind them that karma is always lying in wait.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Turn it down/Pull them up

I would like to eighty-six the idea that someone should be allowed to listen to music so loudly in their car that I can hear it (even when I'm several cars away). Please don't assume I want to listen to your gangster rap, bad 80's tunes, or even Frank Sinatra. I may not be in the mood to be subject to your tastes. It's just so annoying. I put the eighty-sixing of this concept right up there with guys who thinks it's cool to wear their pants around their knees so I can see their underwear/boxers. Ridiculous. I'm not even sure why this isn't public indecency. I actually had an attorney tell me once that one of his clients attempted to flee from the scene of a crime but couldn't because he kept trying to pull up his pants and was incessantly tripping on them. What an idiot because he committed a crime and then he wasn't even smart enough to wear pants that fit properly so he could get a away.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Map to Nowhere

It is without fail that I keep lots of things I shouldn't. I have a large collection of maps (and other useless pamphlets) from trips we've taken. I think my hope is that I'll go back there again--or that someone I know will go and I can save them some time and point them in the right direction of something we did while in a certain location. The problem with this last point is that I can rarely find this stuff when other people are practically en route. So, yesterday I found myself throwing out some old literature and maps from places we haven't been in a while. I even took a moment to look up the old map I had for a place we went to several years ago and I found it to a fairly useless map as a major road had changed. Thus, to the recycle bin it went. I think in the future I'm going to make it my goal to pick up as few pieces of paper I can about a place I'm visiting. Perhaps I'll learn to listen better and simply report based on what I remember. It just seems easier on our place and the environment.

Monday, July 25, 2011

For God's sake man, throw it out

Has it really been a fortnight since I've posted! UGH! Please bear with me as I need some comfort during this hard posting time...
The worst of all things lurking in my needing to be cleaned out wardrobe is a swimsuit from yesteryear. YIKES! There is nothing quite like an old swimsuit to darken my spirits--reminding me of the ten pounds I can't lose and the just-dug-up look I maintain (even in the midst of one of the hottest, sunniest summers ever). Thus, it is with great pride I now trash the yesteryear swimsuit. I do note that I got good use out of it, as it couldn't be worn anymore if I wanted to as there's some elastic that would surely give way from overuse and an extra pound here and there, but it must go.
I think tomorrow I'll have a salad and multiple glasses of water to comprise my daily caloric intake.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Good idea, bad day

I set a goal for myself today: clean some clothes out of my closet. Well, I've finished. I have four suits I plan to try and sell through a consignment shop and four other pairs of nice dress slacks and some shoes. It's a win-win for everyone! I was also able to successfully separate out summer from winter clothes in the closet, which made me realize how much I'd like to live somewhere where I ONLY need summer clothes. Plus, I love palm trees, the ocean, and locales that offer lots of opportunities for adventure (not where I live now at all). Anyway, as to the closet, I made serious progress and for that I'm proud. But, there are problems with goals. My timing was absolutely horrific as it's almost ninety today and the humidity is ridiculous and, here's the big kicker, our air conditioning is broken. AH! And it's Sunday so there's little to do until tomorrow. Besides the toilet (and indoor plumbing and sanitation in general) air conditioning is one of my favorite inventions! I hope I didn't make any hasty eighty-six clothing decisions as my brain seems to be operating at half-capacity. After I get done posting this I plan to head out and station myself in a nice book store or mall that has the air on full blast.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Good Kitty, Bad Litter

Yes, bad cat litter is cheaper than the good stuff. And yes, there's a reason for that. I have fallen prey to cheap cat litter in the past and it happened just a week ago! NEVER AGAIN! (It's like generic mac n' cheese...never the same as the real stuff!) Just spend the buck or so more and save yourself the issue of stink and a shoddy product.
As to future eighty-sixing...I've been eyeing some books and I actually found a place to take and recycle them. Let's see how long it takes me to get them there.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Hook

My Grandma tells good stories. She probably doesn't know this, but it's true. I thought about this after my last post (about the day she was born). She always starts with a hook at the beginning - sometimes it's long, sometimes it short - which is what all audiences want and look for in stories (and writers really love them).

I was talking to her on Sunday at a family gathering and the issue was brought up about how someone smokes and we don't know how they can afford it (amongst a myriad of other reasons not to smoke). My Grandma said she was always glad she never smoked. She said a lot of her girlfriends smoked back in the day; we all know this was due to cool celebs that glamorized it and lack of scientific evidence that it killed you (painfully). Right after she tells us she never smoked, she starts telling this story about her mom buying a 6-pack of Coke every Friday to bring home to her and her siblings. (She brought some kind of food, too - I think it was hamburgers - but it was secondary to the Coke so I've forgotten). The Coke was something they looked forward to all week - I'm sure because of how little money they had for such extravagances.

The problem was this: there were seven people in her family. Now, I'm not a math major, I leave that to people that actually think math is fun and someday "it comes to you", but I can figure out that if you have a 6-pack of Coke you're one short if you have a family of seven. Anyway, what everyone would do is open their bottles and pour a little in a cup for the youngest, my Grandma's two-year-old brother. The problem with two-year-olds is that they really don't like the concept of once something is gone it's gone until next time (unless next time is two seconds from now). So, this little two-year-old had this mindset; thus, when his Coke ran out he went hunting for more. Apparently, he chose my Grandma as his victim. ( this point, you're thinking what I was thinking: "Where is this going? Weren't we talking about smoking? Why are we talking about Coke?" But you must know my Grandma. As I said, she tells good stories. She has the most unassuming, unexpected way of coming full circle so be patient!) Anyway...her little brother starts pulling on her Coke bottle. Now, my Grandma's just a kid at this point, so she's not gonna go down easy. She wants to drink her Coke, plus she's thinking that she's already given her little, bothersome brother an equal portion of her share same as everyone else. Well, her brother keeps pulling and pulling and she keeps pulling and pulling...and then, he lets loose as she's pulling and the bottle hits her front right tooth dead on - the permanent one - and it smarts like hell and she can just tell it's not right. This sends her to the dentist.

My grandma reminds us that she's about ten-years-old at the time - the time when teeth are half-in/half-out and you're mostly snaggle toothed anyway - so it's already an awkward time (particularly to be a girl) and another missing tooth just won't help. She tells us how the tooth next to her big, now damaged tooth, the permanent incisor, hadn't come in yet, so that looked awkward. And the eye tooth she had wasn't permanent so the dentist pulled that as he thought that was where the nerve problem originated. Alas, it wasn't, it turned out her front tooth really was in bad shape - sort of dangling and just not that useful. She talked about how her teeth looked awful bad for a period of time and that her school picture was a shame, her with her some here, some there teeth. She used her hand to show us how they were at a complete angel in her mouth. And then she talked about the plastic piece they put behind her front right tooth to hold it in place. She said it was the most awful thing and that anything she ate with a strong taste would stick to that piece of plastic and she'd be tasting it for days.

Then, she brought us back to her girlfriends. Those girls that I'm sure wanted to be just like Lauren Bacall and Betty Davis - the young women that were always getting a cigarette lit from a handsome, mysterious actor. The girls that smoked because nobody knew better and it's what everyone was doing, right? They tried to get my Grandma to smoke. She said she took one drag and it was awful! That plastic piece behind her tooth tasted like nasty cigarette smoke for days. She just knew she couldn't smoke. And her last words at the end of the story were this: "I've never been so glad that my brother knocked out my tooth. If not, I probably would've been a smoker." Don't you just love my Grandma's ability to make light out of something most people would be angry about! I drove home that night thinking that most people could really learn from her and try to find the good in the bad when possible - me included!

And that is the art of my Grandma's story telling. I hope I did it justice. And what's the tie in to eighty-sixing? My Grandma's poor eye tooth and the eventual loss of her damaged, front tooth (her brother was nowhere to found the second time around).

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Time flies...

Has it really been THAT many days since I posed. Geez. No real excuse; just time getting away from me. I saw a few people this last weekend at my grandma's birthday who said they had enjoyed reading my blog. First, thanks for coming my grandma's big day. She's a great woman and deserves a day all about her with the people that love her most! Second, thanks so much for complimenting me on my blog. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to stay true to my NY resolution to eighty-six something each day, but I'm doing the best I can!

My post today is about eighty-sixing old ideas (did I say I had to eight-six something tangible - I don't think I did?). When I called my grandma to wish her happy birthday today -her actual birthday is Flag Day - she told me a funny story. I called her around 6:15 p.m. She thought this was ironic as she was actually born around 6:15 p.m. on a Sunday. My grandma told me that her grandma - who was a midwife - was there with her mother to bring her into the world. She told me her dad thought it was great that she was born at 6:15 p.m. so he could make the 7:00 p.m. church service (in his quasi-defense, I'm pretty sure he was doing the preaching). It made me laugh and think. My first thought was that it's OK to miss church if your wife just had a baby (even if you're giving the sermon). My next thought is that I'm glad we've eighty-sixed the idea of men being absent parties when their children are born (or shortly thereafter). Now that's progress I can sink my teeth into!
Hopefully I'll be writing to all of you again soon!

Monday, May 30, 2011

You can't eighty-six this

Today's post is based on frustration for those things one simply can't eighty-six. I know, it's pretty much not what this blog was supposed to feature, but I need to expound. Today's feature is our two cats. They are wonderful, love them both, but after a nearly $500 vet bill a couple of days ago I pondered who else may want them. And it's not like there was a major problem - it was mostly wellness crap - that ran up the bill. The worst thing is I can't remember the last time I spent $500 on my own "wellness". But, when I look at them I can't help but think they are the only creatures on this planet that don't judge me; and if they do, they forget like five minutes later.
Thus, I will snuggle with them and remind myself of that which one cannot eighty-six. [insert long, drawn out sigh here]

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Agony of the The Feet

When a pair of shoes is so painful you can't even remember why you would buy or keep them, get rid of them. That's my eighty-six feature today as I trash a pair of heels that just don't work. I think what probably happened is they were the only pair left in the store and I really loved them and they weren't my size but I thought hey, i can wear these, they aren't that bad! Well, shoes come in sizes for a reason - like everything else - so people with different size feet can get the size they need.
Anyway, I digress and another pair of hells is getting the boot (no pun intended).

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Flippity Flop

It's so sad when a pair of flip flops finally's usually when the piece that goes between your first and second toe tears away from they actual sole of the flop. Anyway, it's happened...and with my favorite pair. I guess it's a sign that I need to go shopping for summer. I suppose some day it will stop raining and there will actually be sunshine and a reason to wear a pair of flip flops. I suppose some day I'll lose those last five pounds, too, so that shopping seems more bearable!

Note: As you can see, I'm blogging less these days. I expect to eighty-six something at least once a week from now on; I'm just too busy with other writing and work to post each day right now! Check back in weekly to see what has gone by the wayside.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Cool it

I'm back...and I'm taking a fan to work tomorrow that died and Mark resurrected from the dead. I asked one of my employees if she wanted it and she said it would be a good idea "to fan all of the cabbage stink away from her desk." I thought that was pretty funny - because it does smell sort of like cabbage by her desk because she's by the kitchenette and apparently someone likes cabbage - and I figured she definitely deserves the fan.
Speaking of fans...I'm going to go find one right now and stick my face in front of's hot in here tonight!
One of my friends is having a garage sale on May 20th...I can't even fathom the amount of stuff I could give her to sell. Let's see what I come up with...more to come!

Saturday, May 7, 2011


I will be back tomorrow, Sunday, May 8, from my brief hiatus.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

R.I.P., P.O.S.

Well, our DVD player finally bit it. My mom was kind enough to get me a new one which is now installed. We won't miss the old one - which I think we paid $15 bucks for at a super store - but hey, you get what you pay for (especially when it comes to poorly made foreign crap).
Mark is going to take it apart for fun - who knows, maybe it will work better when it has less pieces.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dancing its way out of here...

Well, Dancercise will be heading to the Goodwill. I think I'll put a little note in there that it's the worst DVD set EVER, but I guess I won't really need to do that; watching it for 30 seconds provides enough context for the entire set.
My worry is that I shouldn't even take it to the Goodwill. I guess maybe someone will think it's worth the buck or two it'll be priced at.

Monday, April 25, 2011

It ain't easy being green

Well, the plant in my office is dying. I think it's because my office if far removed from the reaches of natural light. I like my office, as it's much better than the one I used to have without walls that went all the way to the ceiling and a door, but plants can't live there. My shamrock resides in my employee's office next to me and now my deiffenbachia is with our receptionist (if you know how easy it is to keep one of these plants alive you're rolling your eyes right about now, but remember, my office is cave-like). I will miss him - as I've had him nearly five years - but he will have a better life up front by the window. My hope is for him to be nursed back to better health so that he can return to me. Really, I just want what's best for him.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Word to your "Mother"

It's Earth Day! I love getting this day off! Even though it's sold as Good Friday, I observe it as Earth Day, which is the best day of the year ever (except for Groundhog Day, of course).
So, today I went and recycled all of the stuff in the trunk of my car. So, that's really something Earth Day-ish (and I got rid of stuff). If I had a yard, I would plant a tree or something, but since our yard is 10x10 we don't have room for one.
I hope you did something earthy for your "Mother" today!

(Note: No post tomorrow...back Sunday.)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Swiss Cheese

I have this pair of socks that I love...I think I've had them for ten years or something. They were threadbare at first, but now the hole is obvious. I keep thinking I would throw them out, but I never do. Then I saw them today, dormant in my sock drawer; I only discovered them in a frenzy this morning while trying to match a pair of black dress socks (which even if you buy different kinds with different designs, they all look the same!).
Thus, it is with a heavy heart that one of my favorite pairs of socks is being eighty-sixed; no amount of mending will do and I must part with them.

(I think I hear taps playing in the distance.)

Patience, Grasshopper

no post tonight - too busy writing other stuff - check in tomorrow!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Romeo and Juliet lesson

If parting is such sweet sorrow, why can't I seem to let go of any of my shoes? I remember last year...I took about twenty or thirty pairs to the Goodwill. There were so many I can't even remember. Now, I still find myself with way too many, but the inability to let go. Thus, today's post is just about a handful of batteries I've been meaning to take to work - to recycle of course - and is much less anti-climatic than the devastating tragedy involving a Capulet and a Montague. Anyway, at least you got a bit of Shakespeare in today, which is never disappointing.

'Tis almost morning, I would have thee gone—
And yet no farther than a wan-ton's bird,
That lets it hop a little from his hand,
Like a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves,
And with a silken thread plucks it back again,
So loving-jealous of his liberty.
I would I were thy bird.
Sweet, so would I,
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow. [Exit above]

Monday, April 18, 2011

The sorting game...

There is no eighty-six today as I'm weeding through my shoes to find the ones to get rid's a daunting task. I should have something tomorrow, hopefully even a photo, of a beloved pair of shoes that will be purchased by a deserving soul at Goodwill in the near future!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Where art thou?

I should have posted that I was on a brief sojourn and thus unable to post for a few days. I'm back now, and when I looked through my trunk I found a pair of tennis shoes that I know are mine that I haven't worn in well over a year-and-a-half. I say that as that's how long ago it was when I bought my car and I put these shoes there and seemed to have forgotten about them. While the inside of my car is very clean, the trunk houses all of my forgotten junk - like these shoes - that were buried behind my eight or so environmental shopping bags and other random car necessities, i.e. jumper cables, oil, windshield washer fluid, paper towels. Because I'm currently trying to get rid of some of my shoes - which you will read more about - these are no exception. So, away they go to Goodwill.

Sidenote: On Thursday night I tried to take back "Dancercise" and I was denied (see Saturday April 2 blog post "Dance Like Nobody's Watching...". As is policy nearly everywhere - but I thought I'd try anyway - the store clerk told me I couldn't return any unwrapped DVD or CD. I figured as much, but it was worth a try. Here's how the conversation went:

"Ma'am, you can't return an opened DVD." The store clerk said. I cringed at the thought of being called ma'am, but remembered I'd had a good day so far and didn't feel like being mean.
"Why not?" I asked.
"It's policy," he points behind him to a two-hundred point font statement stating that it's copyright law. "It's not just Target's policy, it's copyright law."
I hate being educated on the law, mostly because it reminds me I could have learned everything for free instead of paying one-hundred-thousand dollars to be told the same thing by a pompous professors. "OK." I stated, defeated but not surprised,
He continued..."I'm sorry, it's..."
"No, it's not your fault, I get it." I thought more. "But, I will tell you one thing: no one would ever violate the copyright laws when it comes to this DVD set. No one would copy this." I did think about the youtube possibilities.
He finally smiles, trying not to give in to my obvious charm, "OK, well, it's still policy."
"Well, maybe Target should know they shouldn't sell something this bad?"
"That's not something I handle." He said, still smiling a little but remaining mostly serious.
And with that, I took "Dancercise" home with me. I hope to find someone who will actually use it and not make fun of it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Bye Bye Bissell

It's happened! [insert gasp here] Our sweeper - or vacuum cleaner if you must - went mostly kaput. It's withstood our abuse for several years now, which in a Made in China world is pretty darn good. So, I was walking through a department store today and say one for $50 and thought that's a pretty good deal! So, home the new Dirt Devil came, and so far, I can't complain. The upstairs looks new and this new sweeper is actually sucking up stuff that's probably been missed by the other sweeper for some time.
But, never fear! The old sweeper still has some years left in it for someone so it's going to the Goodwill and not in a landfill. I'm pretty sure I remember in college I lived with someone who took a sweeper out of the trash or something and we used it for a couple of years. Thus proving the great saying: waste not want not.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Fancy soap doesn't work for me. I have a lot of it in the depths of the hallway closet. Fancy soap is the soap that comes in the little boxes, usually in sets of 2-4, and it smells really good. The problem is that we have the hardest water in the history of man. So, using a bar of soap is a futile effort. My skin just never, ever feels soft after using a bar of soap in our shower. Then, that just leads to using lotion, and I have yet to be able to make a habit of putting on lotion daily - I suppose I should - and this soap just adds that extra step to my already rushed daily routine. 
Anyway, I'm regifting some of this soap so it won't be wasted. 
I do hate to get rid of the boxes...they are very pretty. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

Don't tread on me

I'm trying not to be that person that keeps adding junk to a landfill. In an effort to live up to my ever-be-green attitude, I washed a pair of tennis shoes in the hopes that I could save them (and I wouldn't have to buy another pair, which would save me some green, too).
My efforts seems to have failed. All of the bleach in the world can't save them, so it seems they will become garbage (Goodwill wouldn't be interested).
Oh well, at least I tried.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


As swimsuit season lurks around the corner [insert uncontrolled shudder here] I found myself looking through my swimsuit drawer. There is one in there that is so old there is no way I'd be caught dead in it (for a multitude of reasons). And because swimsuits - in my very rational opinion - can't be donated, it will be finding it's way to the trash.
I think I'll go eat a rice cake now, in preparation for another humiliating summer!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I want to believe

No, this is not something from the X-Files. It is not a least I don't think. It's something that's been in our silverware drawer for a long time. It's been there so long I don't know what it is (so I guess it could be a dreidel or some odd sort). Thus, why keep it? I bet as soon as I throw it out I will unearth it's true purpose; that's a risk I'm willing to take.

View Photo_E67...jpg in slide show

Stand by

Stand by for a post Saturday night. I realize I haven't had anything for two days know how life is... busy. I will see you tomorrow with at least one thing to eighty-six!
The good news is it seems that the DC folks passed a budget.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


It's been sitting on the kitchen table since the evening of March 17th. Since the evening I ran into a nice young lady named Casey and she adorned me with many pieces of St. Patrick's day flare. It's the traditional, cheap headpiece one wears that says the occasion across the top (this one says "Happy St. Patrick's Day"). While I like it, and I can appreciate the gift, this is something that will get lost in the shuffle. By next St. Patty's Day, I'll be wondering where it went...and then I'll find it two days afterwards. Thus, it's time to say good bye to it.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Big Least

Sorry I missed yesterday...I was too busy watching Butler lose. Ugh. I hate the big teams, they seem to always win (UConn, Duke, etc.) Bleck. The Big East was referred to many this year as the Big Least, so I wasn't happy to see a team win from that conference.
Anyway, yesterday I found another bunch of useless cables that went in the trash. I don't understand where they all come from. I'm sure somewhere a techie felt a cold chill come over her as they hit the bottom of the trash can.
Tonight, I've found yet another book light. I can't even remember how many I've counted in the last month or so. I say just turn the light on and read. So, I will put that in the stuff for the Goodwill.
I've been thinking about something good  for tomorrow that I saw in the closet downstairs. It's gotta go, but until then, sweet dreams!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Happy Birthday!

I found a "Happy Birthday" banner in our study closet today when I was looking for a gift bag. I used it just a few weeks ago for a friend's birthday - that was after I discovered the banner in the closet by accident. At that point, I was unsure how long I'd had it, but I don't ever remember using it before that point for quite some time. Thus, it must have been in there for some years abused, unused, sad. So, I'm taking it to work so my employees can have a stylish celebration on their birthdays. Since there is one tomorrow, there is no better timing than right now! I just love it when a plan comes together!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dance Like Nobody's Watching (that's what they did)

Did you see the post yesterday? Good one, huh? April Fools! There was not and will be no post for yesterday. Sorry! But, today I'm glad to say I will be taking back an unfortunate work out DVD I bought at Target this week. It's called "Dancercise," and it's the worst series of work out DVDs I've tried to take part in in my entire life (and that's saying a lot as I have bought tons of them). I watched the first one and I actually thought it was a joke. There were three more and after watching a second I was just hooked for the you tube hilarity of it all and decided to watch excerpts of them all. It was so generic and it's sad to say, but I felt sorry for the trainers (at least I'm assuming some of them were) that were involved in the production of the DVDs. I'm not sure if it was the awful music, pathetic backdrop, poor cues, or odd staging of individuals for each segment that turned me off to the entire thing. Anyway, it's going back to Target. If they won't take it I'll take it to the Goodwill.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Two is better than one

Due to technical difficulties - and exhaustion - I didn't post yesterday. Isn't it odd how we always have to make up excuses? Thus, today is a double post!
Anyway, today I'm eighty-sixing (to Goodwill) another pair of sunglasses and a bottle of Glucosamine Chondroitin (to a friend at work). The former were another one of my impulse gas stations buys, the latter I bought for my knees. After years of athletic abuse - which continues to this day - I thought I would take some of this to build back all that cartilage that I wore out. But, after buying it and removing the safety seal, I learned that it contains shellfish. Hence, a direct violation of my vegetarian lifestyle. The problem is that it says they expired on 2/09, so who knows if their any good. I'll let my co-worker be the judge of that. The thing is I think I paid a pretty penny for these horse pills - something like $15 - so it's still worth trying to give to someone else. I did find out that you can buy a vegetarian version, so I'll look into that (I'm sure they cost even more).

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I like sunglasses. I used to have a nasty habit of buying a pair on a regular basis at truck stops I frequented for gas during my trips back and forth to law school. My car always contacted a back-up pair for my back-up pair. Then, I was given a pair of really nice sunglasses from one of my friends and I decided that one nice pair of sunglasses is all one really needs. Thus, I think I can eighty-six some of the old ones, particularly this pair (for obvious reasons). Too bad, I really looked cool in them...

Monday, March 28, 2011

Let there be (book) light

The book light has gone through many a transformation since it's early beginnings. I've had many book lights, but my first was a chunky one from I think Borders (which is pretty much closing down and is killing me..where can I go hide at lunch now?). The problem with my first book light is that it weighs so much there is no way to even put it on the book to read it. Besides, book lights seems to be going the way of books - the dodo bird. It seems we will all eventually have to adjust to a world of ebooks. I'm sure Gutenberg's monument in Mainz will soon be holding a Kindle instead of a real book. This makes me want to cry every time I think about it, as a writer and a self-proclaimed bibliophile, but it's the sad reality of things.
I will say that I'm only eighty-sixing my first book light because it's too bulky to be practical, not because I've completely abandoned books in print. That would be insane.
Photo soon to follow...stay tuned.

Here it is (and only a day later!):

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Stop hanging around

As promised, two posts in one day! This second post is about a blue lanyard. It's completely generic, has no insignia (that's a first), and has been hanging in the hallway downstairs for years. I already have one of these for work, and another one in my desk at work, so there is no point in this redundancy! Thus, in the trash it goes. Besides, I'll probably get a couple more of them at a conference or two this year that I attend (the whole time I'll be lamenting about the lack of sticky notes).

Useless cables

I found a drawer full of cables. I know they've been in there a long time as I've never used any of them. I don't have enough technology know-how to even understand what they go to. Mark inspected them and came to the conclusion that I should see what they go to before throwing them out - I told him OK, but this probably just means they'll go back in a drawer for another few years until I actually throw them out. I don't have the time to cross-reference cable ends to all of the pieces of technology I own. But, there was one he approved eighty-sixing; not even his technology-minded brain can figure out what it goes to. I think finding all of these cables has been good for me; in the future I will use a marker to mark them so I can distinguish what they are supposed to be used for (and then I expect they will still go in a drawer for several years before I rid myself of them!).
I will have one more eighty-six later today - to make up for yesterday - stand by.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Eye Opener

I like to try new face stuff on occasion. During a weak moment, I bought some Neutrogena "Instant Eye Reliever." As someone who has trouble sleeping, I thought it would help with my dark circles that I sometimes get. First off, Neutrogena is a child company to Johnson & Johnson. As long as I've ever known, the latter tests on animals. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me (I know I'm not). Thus, it must have been a seriously weak moment when I bought this product. Second, for a product that you are supposed to put around your eye, I've never had something burn as much as this product does when it inadvertently gets in my eyes. It just happens - even if you're super careful - that a product you put around your eyes will get in your eyes at some point. Third, I didn't notice any difference.
Thus, this product is eighty-sixed.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Not safe for climbing

Nowadays it seems like every time I go to a conference I get one of those faux mountain climbing clips with an endorsement/company name on it. I had three hanging down in the hallway for at least a year. I took them to work today, careful to remind the person I gave them to that they aren't for climbing.
I remember when people gave sticky notes and awesome pens out at conferences. I miss those days. You can't ever go wrong with sticky notes and pens and you can never have too many. One you have more than one climbing clip - as I use one for my keys - you're pretty much set.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Via Con Dios, Hal

It can't be - I didn't post yesterday? Where does the time go? When you're editing a manuscript time gets away from you - sorry!
Today's eighty-six is sentimental for me. It's a book titled Bettas: A Complete Introduction. I guess it's hard for me because it's a book - and if you knew me you'd know I never get rid of books - and the other reason is Hal. He was our first pet. He was a beautiful blue and red Betta. He was such a good pet. I discovered for a Betta he lived a long time, like two years. We were glad to have him while he was here. I've been holding on to this book because of my feelings for Hal. and that's just silly. But, to add some humor to this, no one needs a book on bettas. You simply get one, put it in some water, feed it fishy food, and it lives! It's the easiest and most fun pet yet (as they are aggressive and assert behaviors that are fun to watch).
Maybe some day, when I feel like talking about it, I'll share Hal's demise on this blog. Not tonight.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Wiped out

I discovered it behind the dryer. It was abused, abandoned, and no longer viable for its original purpose. You see, we keep the toilet paper in a storage area over the washer and dryer. Apparently, a roll fell behind the dryer. I found it when I flung a sock back there and had to retrieve it. The roll had obviously been back there for some time. I really wish I would have got a photo of it before I threw it away - so you could admire the lint that had accumulated on its plush surface - but I didn't! Ugh! The sad thing is that I contemplated if it could still be used. I came to the conclusion that there are enough germs in this world that I can't protect myself from, but when it's obvious that I can, then I should.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Washed Away

Today, after removing some clothes from the dryer and thinking if I ever have a lot of money I would never do my laundry ever again, I found a washcloth that baffled me. It was all torn up and ratty and had paint stains on it. It was like I had never seen it before; Mark was equally troubled by this curious washcloth. The only thing I can think of is that I used it when I painted our bedroom last summer and it got buried in the hamper until today. The other possible theory is that it's like the lost sock you find months later and have no idea where it's been (you know, the dryer ate it but finally gave it back). But, it seems odd to me as it was a fairly decent washcloth so I'm not sure why I would use it to clean up paint.
Anyway, I find it nasty and it's outta here!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Brush away

We used to have a friend that stayed over a lot. We live within walking distance to some bars and he would overindulge and then not want to drink and drive. As a big supporter of this, he would sleep on our couch. He even stayed here during a dark period when a girl he dated broke up with him and he was devastated. Thus, our downstairs bathroom housed the toothbrush that we designated for him. Well, he hasn't stayed here in some time, actually, a long time. Thus, his toothbrush seems like prime eighty-sixing material. We do wonder what happened to him as he's fallen out of communication...every now and then we hear bits and pieces, but nothing substantial. I hope he has kept up with his dental hygiene.

Friday, March 18, 2011

No soap for you!

In the laundry room - way up high hidden from eyesight - I found a soap holder that was once in our shower. The thing about this soap holder is that it's broken. It used to hang on little suction cups on the tile wall, and somehow it was completely ripped off or something. It's beyond repair. It's been so long I don't remember what happened; nonetheless, it's completely useless and I've already thrown it in the trash.
I would take a photo of it but my issues are still not resolved in that arena.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Erin Go Bragh!

Ah yes, St. Patrick's Day. The day that even the palest of pale can wear the brightest of green. The day when the teatotalers forget that they teatotal. The day that everyone is handing out tons of kitsch and you are expected to accept it without thought or criticism. Tonight, at a St. Patty's tent part we went to, a girl name Casey briefly befriended me and adorned me with much kitsch: a St. Patty's Day Tiara, two glow-in-the dark bracelets in blue and yellow (as that makes green in case you failed the color wheel in kindergarten), and a pair of cardboard shamrock shaped glasses. As I don't need too much junk accumulating, I'm getting rid of the glasses tonight.I have a photo but my email is slow for some reason so I will put it up tomorrow.
Hope you had some green beer and enjoyed your St. Patrick's Day (even if you aren't Irish)!

Photo finally added March 19th! 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Counter recycling?

The question tonight is this: What does one do with a "green" shopping bag when it can no longer be used? I'm talking about the shopping bags you take to the grocery with you so you don't have to get paper or plastic on the way out. Well, one of mine ripped today - as I always use them - and I was faced with this dilemma. I mean, I obviously can't keep a bag with a giant hole in it. And, it's not the type of bag that can be sewn up and fixed. When it's done, it's done. Thus, I found myself in a earth mama quandary today and I had to throw away one of these bags. It was weird. I'm not sure what it all means.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Ring (is always watching)

Ok, so I missed a post yesterday. That means I officially owe this blog two posts. I won't forget it!
Today, I'm eighty-sixing a ring I found next to my car one day in the parking lot. It's OK, but it's not something I would wear and it's a touch too small for me. I'm giving this away to someone, but I'm on the fence as to which person, but believe me, it's going. It really doesn't have many wear marks for sitting outside on the pavement for who knows how long. It might have belonged to a neighbor we had some time ago that wasn't very nice. Let's hope her karma hasn't worn off on it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Not so much Ooh La La

I found a kit I bought so that you can give yourself a French manicure. You put these little lines of sticky paper just under where you nail ends. You paint your entire nail one color, and then you paint the space past where the sticky paper is, the very tip of your nail, a white color. The idea is that it will look like you've received a professional French manicure. Well, it's really just frustrating to even attempt to do this. The little stickies get stuck to each other, the natural nail polish bleeds into the white nail polish, and there really isn't a good result (unless you want to be angry). Thus, there is no reason for me to keep this kit. It's in a word: pointless.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


These are facts: A driveway is for parking; A parkway is for driving; My name is not Sarah. I was walking to the store today when a young woman said to me "Hi Sarah!" It was odd, because I didn't know what to do. I thought If I don't respond, this girl will seriously think Sarah is a major mean girl until she sees her again (if she even wants to see her again). Then I thought If I say something and act like I'm Sarah, does that make me crazy or am I just doing the right thing for Sarah's sake? If I do act like her will this person then try to have a conversation with me? Then, will it become obvious that I'm not really Sarah, but her dishonest doppelganger? I will leave it to your imagination as to what I did in this situation because that's who I am!
On to the eighty-six...our cats have lots of toys, but when they rip one to shreds it has to be trashed for the safety of them and for me - I can't afford a ridiculous vet bill for the extraction of something from my cats' intestines (believe me, it's happened before to the tune of $1200). Anyway, one cat toy in the trash for tonight.
Good night, Sarah!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Tea Time

I thought about having a cup of tea earlier this evening. I discovered some tea that expired in 2005. It brought me to the question: Can tea really expire? Anyway, it doesn't really matter as if you've had something since 2005 and haven't used it you aren't going to so why keep it? It was echinacea wellness tea (or something along those lines). There was a little, cuddly koala bear on the cover - because that makes sense. There were only a few packets missing. I think the problem for me is I just like regular tea, green tea, or earl grey...everything else is just kind of something I try once and never end up sticking to it. I feel bad throwing tea out, but it's so old I'm a little scared of it. Thus, it has been trashed.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Forced into naturalness

Every now and then I get an itch to wear a fake eyelash or two. I'm not talking the full set, like drag queens and the ladies of Jersey Shore wear, I just mean a couple extra lashes on the end to make my eyes look nice. Well, I was thinking about this Saturday and came across my lashes and the adhesive. I thought the adhesive would still be good - even though I've had it for years and haven't used it in a long time - but it wasn't. When I took the cap off it was like something had died in that little tube. And, when I squeezed the tube to force a little of the adhesive out, the smell was putrid. Needless to say, it went straight in the trash. I probably should have called Hazmat to properly dispose of it. I guess that's what I get for trying to be pretty.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


I'm fresh off a lovely dinner with my girlfriends - one of which is my friend Diane. If you've been following my eighty-sixing, you know I eighty-sixed a pair of satellite-esque earrings she bought me some time ago (can't remember exactly when). See "Satellite Feed" post from February 7th. After having a delicious dark chocolate and sea salt caramel together, I think all is right between us!
Anyway, tonight's post relates to the fact that almost nothing goes back into the package from whence it came. So, the real question is: Why do I keep the packages that once housed these objects that never return to their original home? Dear folks, that is the whole point of this blog, that my mind doesn't function like a normal person; a person that would say "I'm going to recycle this/throw this out because I will never use it again!" Okay, maybe a normal person wouldn't say they're going to recycle something, but they should! As I can't stop digressing, I will now get to it. I found a plastic cylinder that once housed and ice pack I bought after a calf tear. I know, ouch. Anyway, there is no possible way the ice pack is going back in this now too cramped cylinder. Thus, it is bound for the recycling bin.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

To Tweeze or not to Tweeze

There are good pairs of tweezers and then there are bad pairs of tweezers (and why are they called "pairs" anyway?). As with all things, when you buy cheap you get what you pay for; thus, today's eighty-six features a pair of tweezers I probably got for a dollar. You just can't pluck anything with these tweezers as they just don't have the sharpness on the ends to grab a brow hair. They've sat idle for some many months in our medicine cabinet and now I've decided it's time they are trashed. I won't miss them and I don't feel like they're something worth donating as that's weird and, like I said, they're useless.

Monday, March 7, 2011


Well, it seems yesterday - because I was working on another writing project - I forgot to eighty-six something. AH! Don't worry, I know in order to stay true to my resolution that means there must be two eighty-sixing ventures in one day coming up, but that day cannot be today as I'm too busy currently! But, today's eighty-six is one that always makes me smile. It's mostly because I don't know how someone found out that cats are completely amazed by laser pointers, but the fact that someone discovered this offers tons of entertainment for both me and our cats! But, alas, the lasers die and/or break quickly. The good thing is that you can buy them at any gas station for a couple of bucks and get right back to torturing, I mean playing with, your cat(s). But, today a laser has to be trashed due to, well, overuse. Don't worry, our cats definitely need exercise. I only feel bad when thirty minutes after using the laser pointer they are still staring at the wall wondering when the red beam will again appear!

Saturday, March 5, 2011


This weekend is all about paper clutter in my home environment. Yesterday, it was junk mail. Today, it's the coupon "area". I say "area" as I have many places I keep coupons, even a handy organizer I can stick in my purse, but most of them are stashed in between my stove and my knife block. I found some really old ones today - one that expired over a year ago that got lost underneath the other pile of coupons- and some that when I cut them out I must not have been thinking because I don't even buy that product (and never would). Again, this is all good timing due to the paper drive at the local park. While I do use coupons on a regular basis, I do find myself wondering why I cut so many out and they never get used. Anyway, while the actual getting rid of paper clutter may seem like a lame eighty-six idea, my kitchen table - another coupon "area" - and the original "area" between the stove and our knife block looks a lot better. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good about the way eighty-sixing has gone this weekend (even though this rainy weather isn't helping with my attitude).
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

You've got junk mail!

It seems that every few months I accumulate mass quantities of junk mail that I stack on a desk, on the kitchen table, or here and there. I suppose I think it will just get rid of itself if I don't look at it. Then, one day, like today, I just realize it's out of control and the problem must be addressed. Over the years, I've become a favorite of many bleeding heart causes - I assume this is because my address was leaked when I subscribed to some magazine (probably Vegetarian Times as it seems like an easy target) or because I gave money to the Humane Society. Either way, it seems I get unbelievable amounts of junk mail. This evening, I went through all of it and sorted it out; I discovered that most of it truly is junk mail so it has been placed in my paper recycling bin. This is a good thing as they're having a paper drive at the park nearby; thus, this eighty-six is good for me, the environment, and my community. Ah...I'm feeling better already!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Press On

Every now and then - like when one of my friends gets married - I feel like it's a good idea to buy a press on nail kit. The fact of the matter is that this is never a good idea. Unless you go to a nail salon and get your nails put on professionally - which I DON'T recommend as those places are not well regulated and I once knew of someone who had to have the tip of her pinky removed due to gang green from a fake nail gone bad - a nail will not stay put. And, it really makes sense if you think about it - you're trying to glue something over your nail to look like a nail. In my life, I've learned that most things that are layered on top of one another - wallpaper to give a good example - just don't end well (besides dessert, of course). So today I find myself deep in the hall closet again where I found a press on nail kit I must have bought in a weak moment for a special occasion. When I look in it I see that it contains most of the nails that came with the package, which simply means I put a few on and then said forget this and put the box away in the closet. For some reason I always think it will end differently; it never does.
So I say be proud of the nails you have - or don't have - and forget about this fake stuff.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


I have a million little trinkets I've received at conferences I've attended. Today, I part with a bracelet I received at a conference regarding women's health, more specifically, heart health. While I find this little bracelet to be cute, I'm not ever going to wear it. I do think my friend Heather's daughter might like it, because while it is red it's also kind of pink and that's her favorite color. Plus, what kid doesn't like gifts! The next time I see her I'm going to give it to I need to find something to give her son so he knows I'm not playing favorites!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Broken Hearted

Now, I've never been one to throw away candy. I mean, that just sounds ridiculous. But, I've known there is a really old bottle of cinnamon red hearts up in my baking cabinet for a long time. I think it's probably been up there four years as I know I haven't used them in about that long. I think I haven't thrown them out yet because they are candy, and candy is delicious and surely somewhere it says it's a sin to throw a heart-shaped piece of cinnamon candy in the trash! I opened them and they still smell cinnamony delicious, but when I squeeze one the texture seems like it could break off a tooth. So, I find myself being a person I can't stand: a person that throws away candy. Well, I'm done shrieking and this candy is eighty-sixed as of one minute from this post. I think I will buy a candy product to replenish this one tomorrow as to not anger the candy gods.

Monday, February 28, 2011

The (Liquid) Rock

One of my friends recommended that I try "rock" deodorant. You can do an Internet search for this and see the different varieties, but basically the idea is that rock (also know as crystal) deodorants are all natural and usually free of bad normal deodorant additives like aluminum and paraben. While I've only tried one brand of rock deodorant - "Liquid Rock" by Kiss My Face - I found it ineffective and in a word, wet. While I can appreciate the natural nature of this deodorant, I felt dirty after I put it on as it doesn't dry right away and I would have to hold my arms up and let my armpits dry for about a minute. I don't know about most of you, but when it comes to my morning rituals they need to be as short and easy as possible as I'm always pressed for time. While I recommend a natural deodorant - Kiss My Face makes others that aren't of the "rock" variety, as does Jason and Tom's of Maine to name a couple more - I'm not so sure the rock deodorant is right for me. Then again, maybe one of a less "liquid" constitution would work better for me. Either way, natural deodorants are the way to go and I've even found that they work! 

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Letting go of Martha again

The Academy Awards are on in about eleven minutes so I have to post early! Today, I find myself letting go of a Martha Stewart Living from last April. It's basically the Easter issue. It has lots of tips on how to entertain for the day and how to make special cookies and make really cool Easter eggs. I'm tearing out some of my favorite pages - and definitely the four free recipe cards - and will then recycle it [insert weeping sound here]. I leave you with some of Martha's Taste Test Winners - a piece on page 72 of this edition - for reflection.
Honey: Rare Hawaiian Organic White Honey
Cocoa:Valrhona's Dutch-process formula
Vanilla: Tahitian (this is true!)
You've just gotta love the eye for detail!
Oscar picks: Best Actress - Natalie Portman; Best Actor: Colin Firth (even though Jeff Bridges is awesome in True Grit, but the movie wasn't nearly as good as the original.

Cheap floss = abused gums

You know that thought stream I had about generics versus brand names (I think it was a couple of days ago)? A very good example I failed to remember at the time was dental floss. Generic dental floss is terrible. Even if you buy the waxed kind, it's ridiculously tough to get through your teeth. I bought some generic dental floss some time ago and thought I would keep it as a back up; tonight I discovered why it's not even a suitable back up - just awful. I will have to make sure to simply by good floss two at a time so as I never run out of it!
Thus, in the trash it goes. I hope my gums recover!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Cheaper is usually not better

There is one thing I have learned over the years: most things that are cheaper are not better. For example, generic macaroni and cheese, generic Oreos, and cheap shampoo and conditioner. But, every now and then I get dragged into the under a dollar shampoo and conditioner and I buy it. Well, I used to do this. I have vowed that unless it's something top shelf - like Paul Mitchell - I'm not buying it. While this may sound snobby, it's true. My hair rats all up when I use the cheap stuff. Thus, in the beloved hallway closet I found a bottle of V05 conditioner. It was not good to me. I was trying to save some money and I dealt with it - at least half a bottle - until I couldn't take how long it took me to comb out my hair after a shower. I just don't have that kind of time. Thus, this product is eighty-sixed.
Note: There are some things I've found that are better cheaper, but I'm too tired to think of them right now! Good night!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Smile pretty

There seems to be quite a fascination with whiter teeth. Sometimes, I meet people and there teeth are such an untoothy-like, white color, I'm just amazed. We've been no stranger to this. One of the last failed efforts was Crest Supreme Professional Whitening strips. I think Mark got these at the dentist since it says "only available through your dental professional". I say that as I know I didn't buy them. They are simply awful. You put one little flimsy strip on the top and one on the bottom. They are supposed to stay there for thirty minutes, but they're slipping off your teeth after one minute. They foam and make you drool. They taste bad. Overall, I think if you're going to get your teeth whitened you should just pay the dentist to do it while you're there. I say this knowing that almost all attempts I've made to whiten at home end poorly and with frustration. It seems I've never wanted to pay a dentist the two-hundred bucks or so to whiten my teeth, but perhaps I've wasted that much already on things like these Crest whitening strips?
Anyway, even though there are a lot of them left, they are going in the trash.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Today's source of eighty-sixing: the kitchen tensil drawer. I swear I have more places to look than the kitchen utensil drawer and the hallway closet, but these places are really ripe for eighty-sixing. If you remember an earlier post I did, I made brief mention to the fact that I was pretty sure there were pipe cleaners in there. Well, there were. There are actually ten of them, white in color, and wrapped in a plastic bag. I simply have NO IDEA why these are in the kitchen utensil drawer. At least they could be in the catch-all kitchen drawer, right? I find this post to be a no-brainer and there isn't that much more to say - when you have pipe cleaners in your kitchen utensil drawer you really do need to eighty-six some stuff!
For your amusement (put on your glasses as this pic is really small!):

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Paraben-free is the way to be

There they were, buried deep in the hallway closet, another remnant of my I-can't-stop-buying-another-facial-cleansing-product past. For some reason, I thought the No.7 Beautifully Balanced Purifying Cleanser would be a miracle. That I would have less blemishes, that I would have clearer skin, that I would look, well, refreshed, as the product suggests. I used all of one ounce of the randomly sized 6.6 ounce product to learn that it wasn't going to be the miracle product I had built it up to be in my mind. Now that I look at the ingredients, I see that both the toner and the cleanser contain five different parabens individually. I didn't even know there were that many parabens! I even see what I never see - that one of the parabens is listed way up on the ingredient list, which is really uncommon as a paraben, in any form, seems to a last ditch filler/preservative as it appears the end of nearly all ingredient lists. Parabens have been linked to breast cancer, and my life is just too short to deal with any risk of breast cancer. And yes, there is debate on both sides - that parabens do cause breast cancer and that they don't - but any nod to causing breast cancer is reason enough for me to not use products with parabens. Thus, this eighty-six is to the point and the case is closed.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Thinning the herd

Today's blog features a useless product: Diet pills [insert huge sigh here]. College was definitely the highlight of my diet pill buying career. It's amazing how one can think that a pill will make them thinner. Oh, and college was a time when I didn't need to be any thinner. But, I fell back into the trap a bit in law school and I just located a bottle of half-used diet pills buried in the hallway closet - way behind a few other things I didn't know were there. I opened them and there are only a few left inside - this makes me laugh as I then think to myself that I actually took about fifty of these pills thinking they would work. They probably did "work" and now I have some sort of residual problem that hasn't fully presented. And another thing about the pills: they really stink. I would say what they smell like but there is no comparison. Once you pop the lid open you can smell them from a foot away...gross. Thus, the eighty-six today has thinned out our hallway closet (sorry, I couldn't help myself).

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Why?! (probably won't be the last time I use this subject line for a post)

I have a propensity to keep things I know I won't use again. About five years ago - and I know this because the expiration on the lid says "May 24, 2006" - I decided to keep a jar that once housed black cherry jam (again, I know the latter fact because the top also says "Black Cherry"). I kept the jar because it is a very pretty glass with pretty fruit impression on it. Also, I like it's shape. My thinking was probably that I could use it as a storage container for leftovers, but I have never done that. I guess this could be due to the fact it isn't in my cabinet that houses these storage receptacles. That being said, it has been dormant for some 5 years in my corner kitchen cabinet - which is freestanding and contains all of my speciality cookware - and I have not used it. Thus, I found myself wondering why I've kept it. I suppose it's the slight hoarder nature in me that was thinking I can eventually use this for something down the road, right? Wrong. If it's been sitting there for five years I haven't used it, it ain't gonna happen. Thus, the way of eighty-six it goes.
I tried to get a good photo - this is all I came up with and it doesn't show much detail.

Saturday, February 19, 2011


I know the military has done some tests on old medicine. The tests I'm thinking of were focused on the effects of medicine that had expired. I was reminded of these tests when I found a seven year old bottle of Robitussin-DM in our hallway closet. Surely this stuff is too old to take! I smelled and it smells like Robitussin should, but there seems to be some kind of weird undertone I can't place. I haven't tasted it yet as I'm a bit afraid. I found this great article on expired meds and their potency:

It seems that there is some validity - there are other articles out there, too - to old drugs' usefulness even years after the expiration date. And, I looked online and this isn't the Robitussin they recalled not too long ago for some kind of odd issue. But, the fact is this stuff really is old and it doesn't contain any kind medicine I can't still get over the counter without signing my life away (thanks meth heads). While I'm tight on cash, I think I can afford another bottle of this stuff that doesn't crack when I twist the cap to open it from years of Robitussin caking along the rim.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Maine event

I love Tom's of Maine products. They are right up my earth mama alley. They use lots of good ingredients, that don't include animal parts, and they don't test on animals, either. I found myself drawn to their "children's silly strawberry" toothpaste. Because I don't like mint, I thought it would be a good idea. Also, I've tried their other toothpastes and liked them even though they were of the mint variety. Well, this strawberry toothpaste doesn't work for me. I'm hoping it's just because I'm not a kid. I tried it once and thought it tasted bad. It reminded me more of bubble gum than strawberry, which I do admit when I was a kid this would've interested me. I thought maybe I should try it again. Well, I just did and it's just not gonna happen. It's a shame as with most things that are better for you than others it's fairly expensive. I don't really think I can give a used tube of toothpaste to one of my friends or family so I think this just has to be eighty-sixed. The good news is that the hallway closet is getting cleaner from day-to-day.
Tom's of Maine need not worry - I will still be part of its loyal customer base.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Blinded by the light

I'm not sure when I decided it was a good idea to amass a large number of eye covers. Well, I guess that's what you call them. You know, the things you put over your eyes to block the light out while you sleep. I found three the other day and thought that maybe I should keep one of them -which I'm doing - but why would I need three? Plus, I rarely use them anyway. It's like I put them on and they just feel unnatural, as they are so that makes sense, and I just feel like they're a bad pair of contacts that I can constantly feel. Additionally, there is something really weird about opening your eyes and not seeing anything but black fabric. Oh, and you know when you can feel a shadow through your eyelids, like you know when someone is near you or over you, well you can't do that with an eye cover so for some reason that creeps me out and makes me feel uneasy. While most of this post is simply a neurotic stream of consciousness, two of these things are getting tossed
Sleep tight!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

There's no gold in them there hills

There's nothing like finding an old VHS tape that reminds you that technology has come very far. We don't even have a VHS player so any VHS tape in our home is useless. Mark found - and I saw it the other day so I claim partial eighty-sixing rights - a VHS tape we've had for quite some time. The title, now brace yourself as this one is pretty funny, "Gold Prospectors Association of America Sure-Fire Panning Methods". Yes, that's right, at one time someone in my home - not me - was a member of the Gold Prospectors Association of America. I would watch a bit of this tape if I still had the capacity, as I'm sure I would find it humorous, but I really don't care enough to find a garage sale so I can buy a VHS player just to do that.
Needless to say, we never became rich off gold panning - at least not yet - and this tape has just become part of my eighty-sixing history.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

To tone or not to tone

I have a problem buying lotion. The problem is that I buy too much. Then, I use it for a week or so and I'm over it. I've stopped doing this in the last couple of years, but there is still a lot of overflow in that infamous hallway closet.
One phase I went through was the "toning" lotion phase. You know, the lotion that promises to improve your skin's firmness and elasticity. The truth is that all of the toning lotion in the world won't help you if you don't do anything else but use the lotion. Because I work out and eat mostly good foods, I don't count on toning lotion for life-changing results. That beings said, the problem is that you shouldn't count on it for anything as all it really does - at best - is hydrate your skin.
Like most of the lotions I'm over, I will take the two toning lotions I found in the closet and take them to work and place them in the restroom. The brand is really pointless as from the cheapest to the most expensive toning lotion none of them seem to fulfill their taut promise. I know they will be better used by the people I work with instead of wasting away in our closet.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Share your love (with a shelter pet)

Today has been exhausting so I'm at a loss to find something to eighty-six at the moment (believe me, there's lots of stuff, but today I just don't want to delve too deep into any thoughts). However, I did think of something fairly small a minute ago that I want to get rid of, so I'm going with it.

When we adopted our cats we got a book-like magazine titled "New Parent Guide." It contains articles and info for new pet owners. Apparently, I filed this away with the other cat records and didn't plan to do anything with it. I think this is mostly because we owned a cat before the two we have now and I guess I felt seasoned. I found it a couple of days ago when I was looking for something else - how I find most of my eighty-sixing material - and I don't want to keep it. To be fair, at one point it may have been useful as there are some coupons in it (which are now over two years expired). And, it might be useful to a true, first-time pet owner. But, overall, I don't find a guide very helpful. I once worked with a guy who said something like, "Why would I have kids? I can just give my cat the plastic ring off of the top of the milk jug and she's entertained for hours. I don't think I could do that with a kid." So, just like those that have kids, I've taken the knowledge of those that were pet owners before me in taking on the task of owning pets; thus, a "New Parent Guide" isn't really necessary.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Sunday, February 13, 2011


It seems like every year or so I need a new hairdryer. And, each time I get a new one, it comes with attachments for the end. It's usually a diffuser, which is a big round thing that has soft spikes that stick out from it - it's to dry your hair to make it look curly - and the other attachment is this weird thing that gets narrow at the end. Here it is:

At one time, I found three of these under our sink. It's odd, because I don't think I've ever used any of them. And, or course, they are not universal - kind of like a cell phone charger - so each time you buy a hairdryer you get a new one. Well, I found this one under the sink today when I was looking for something else and I just know I'm never going to use it. I did check and it does go to my current hairdryer, so I guess I've at least thinned out the herd of ones that I used to have and no longer had the matching hairdryer.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Failed Product #42 (and counting...)

I think I'm a typical woman in that I've tried a lot of skin care products, particularly those that promise less blemishes and clearer skin. Probably three years ago, I bought and tried Boots "expert anti-blemish" line. I always say something like this is my last ditch effort before I go to a dermatologist whenever I purchase a new product. I never follow through on my promise and just keep trying more products. I thought only the teenage years were for blemishes - "blemish" just sounds so much better than "acne" or "zit" - but I had wonderful skin in my teens. Anyway, I found the Boots line in the hallway closet where it has been sitting unused for a long time. I started looking around and noticed this won't be my only eighty-six on this type of skin care product. I've wasted tons of money on this stuff. Perhaps this Boots product line actually worked for somebody, but I didn't find it useful and it's full of parabens so it gets the big eighty-six this evening. Last year, I actually started a resolution where I told myself I wouldn't buy any new skin products, including lotions, for two months and I would simply use up what I had. I actually did do this and managed to get rid of a lot of products, but it seems I've fallen off the wagon.

Side note: Other useless brands I've tried include: Proactive (way too harsh), Arbonne (too expensive and didn't do anything), No. 7 (I can't even remember who makes this); Aveeno (didn't do much), Clean and Clear (minimal results), and lots of others I can't think of off of the top of my head. Plus, most of these products are tested on animals and contain parabens, which is just bad!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Lesser of two evils

What is it about's like if we don't have it we might die. When I tell people I spent a whole weekend reading, writing, and I didn't turn the TV on once they look at me like I've been dropped on this planet by an alien leader. But, alas, even I must have TV. The biggest issue is which provider to go with as they will all take your money and provide you with a vast array of TV shows that you won't watch. The ones you really want to watch - the ones that provide any kind of true educational and personal growth value - don't come in the "cheap" package and one must always upgrade. We used to have dish Network. Overall, we had one of two satellite problems - where it rained really hard and we couldn't watch TV - but otherwise the actual service was good. The worst thing about dish Network was that once we were their customer they wouldn't upgrade us or make our service better without a ton of cash and a DNA sample. They told us we had to leave for 6 months and then come back and then they would treat us like the new customers they treated so well - so much for customer loyalty. So, when U-verse became available I thought, why not? So, we now have U-verse. I think the actual services they offer - like being able to record a million things simultaneously - is pretty awesome. But, like with all TV providers, U-verse isn't right for everyone. Our place was built in 1960 so the wiring is old; thus, we have suffered dearly at its hands. I think we've met at least five or six AT&T employees and none of them have truly fixed the problem. There for a while it was a running joke - what man (not to be sexist but the repair workers were always men that came to our place) would be at our house when I got home from work. Sigh. Anyway, as always I've taken a very circuitous route to get to my eighty-sixable object of the day. I found in the coffee table next to our couch in the living room - which is where our TV is - an old Channel Directory for dish Network. As I've already set forth our entire TV provider history, we obviously don't need this anymore. I guess now I'll go watch one of my many useless channels. Perhaps I'll choose Wealth TV. That's right, a channel all about rich people and all the stuff they have that most of us will never see and all the places they go that are out of our reach. Come on, man!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Do you smell what I smell?

We all have the kitchen cabinet that's so tall we can't see all the way back on the top shelf. Some of us even have the cabinet over the fridge we haven't looked in for years - I can't wait to get to that as there should be prime eighty-sixable objects there. In one of my too tall cabinets on the top shelf way in the back I found some old macadamia nut pieces. When I found them I thought when was the last time I even baked anything with macadamia nuts? I asked myself that as this particular top shelf cabinet is in my baking cabinet area. After extensively searching my brain, I couldn't think of any time at all that I've cooked with macadamia nuts. I wouldn't make brownies with them, or candy, or even include it in cake icing. It's still a mystery to me. But here they are - sad to admit they are over one year expired - eyeing me with contempt as I've been so wasteful. I made the mistake of opening the bag - old nuts have just an awful smell. I don't think I'd eat one of these tiny pieces on a dare (unless a large monetary amount was tied to it). I wish this page was scratch and sniff so you could really experience what I just did. Ew. Needless to say, these nuts are toast.

Useful tip of the day: Did you know that eying and eyeing are both correct? I've always used the latter, but I found this fact interesting as spell check tried to correct me which took me to one of my most visited sites - I just thought I'd share the knowledge.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pressed for Space

One thing I love to do is cook, well, bake more than anything, but I really do like to cook, as well. Like most people who like to cook, I love to watch great chefs (I use the word "chef" knowing there's a possibility some have not actually been trained as a chef but are what a chef may call a cook, but whatever). The Food Network is like a drug to a good foodie. I must admit I've had entire Saturdays eaten away (ha ha) by an endless stream of thirty minute make-this-or-that cooking segments. But, in the all the time I've loved the Food Network, I've never seen Giada de Laurentiis, Mario Batali, Gordon Ramsay, or Ina Garten actually use a garlic press. A good chef will smash the clove of naked garlic with the flat side of a good solid knife - usually a santoku-style blade - and then chop up the piece of garlic into fine remnants. They will then carefully gather the tiny pieces of garlic on their blade and use their index fingers to push the garlic from the knife into the skillet or dish they are preparing. I've heard many a chef even make a comment about how smashing the clove with a flat side of a knife blade really releases the garlic's true flavor. I suppose my knowledge base is too small on this - as I don't even pretend to be at a chef level - but I bet it's fairly difficult to find a chef that uses a garlic press.
This long introduction brings me to what I dug out of our utensil drawer this evening: none other than a garlic press. It looks completely untouched. I smelled it and sense nothing of the garlic variety, which seems hard to believe knowing the pungency of garlic even in it's natural state. I thought to myself about this particular garlic press and I can't remember the last time I used it. I think it's something I used once. If you've never used a garlic press the mechanics are easy - you simply place a cleaned clove of garlic in the inside receptacle and pull the other receptacle in on it. The pressure crushes the clove of garlic. But, if you've done this you've experienced what most everyone does - that it's next to impossible to get the garlic off of the device as it gets caught in the nooks and crannies. I did see that my garlic press was made in Italy. I suppose that was to give it more authenticity as Italy and garlic go hand-in-hand. That being said, this garlic press is useless to me. In looking at it, I'm sure I paid top dollar for it, too, but that doesn't matter. That which is not used must be eighty-sixed. That's the resolution and I'm sticking by it.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Regularity Redux

It seems unbelievable, but in the cavern I call our hallway closet I found yet more acidophilus. If you look back at my January 7th post, you will see that at one point I really fell in to the trap of the" benefits" of acidophilus.  I cringe - again - at reading the purpose of the product on the bottle: "Acidphilus Aids in Reestablishing and Reinforcing Intestinal Flora". While I'm not going to say it doesn't work - as it has a huge following and it seems to really help those that need it - it just made my life a lot worse and my story is more of a cautionary tale than a  product testimonial. At to this bottle of acidophilus, it looks nearly full - there are 120 pills and it looks like all but two are in there - and the contents expired in 2003! Say what? I lived mostly in another apartment until 2005 so that means I actually brought back with me expired, useless acidophilus. Why would one do that? Even if this product still worked, it's so old its potency has been severely compromised at this point. Anyway, it's getting trashed and the bottle recycled!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Satellite feed

I got a pair of earrings from my friend Diane. The problem for me is I'm allergic to nearly all earrings so I just don't wear them. Plus, this pair is way too big - each earring measures 2.5". I felt like I might take off when I put them on or that perhaps I could get a satellite feed if I held my head just right. So, I'm sending these off to the Goodwill. I would re-gift them, but the thing is that during my girls' Christmas every year one of the people who re-gifts with me is Diane so she may get her own gift back, which would not be in good taste.
While Diane is one of my dear friends, I know she'll understand that these earrings aren't going to work for me. I feel they have a good future with someone else, which Diane would also understand. Thus, they are eighty-sixed.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Little Green Men

Since the Superbowl is tonight, I thought I should post before that starts. I plan to eat so much junk and drink a few beers which will most likely render my brain useless.
I found a package of "Bendable Alien Toys" in the catch-all basket on our kitchen table (which holds so much crap we rarely eat at it - I mean, does anyone use their kitchen table to eat?). Anyhow, there's no point in keeping these. As you will see, they are still in the wrapper. While they are somewhat endearing, and I think Mark and I got them as I gag gift, some little kid will probably like them a lot and actually remove them from the package and play with them. Thus, the eighty-six is easy today! Plus, the Bendable Alien toys are green, which is very fitting for tonight's game - GO PACK!

 "We come in peace."
 - Bendable Alien Toy

And yes, eventually I'm going to figure out how to make photos larger.

Sometimes old is better

There are some inventions that withstand the test of time. The good, old-fashioned can opener is one of them. You simply place it over the can and crank the the mechanism with your other hand and the perforated blade cuts the tin can. Some people have tried to improve upon this. For example, this "handy" device pictured below that I got several years ago from a family member - I'm thinking it was my mom or grandma, but I can't remember.

Unfortunately, I have never liked this can opener or found it useful. Each time I tried to use it, I would be frustrated. It would take me three attempts just to get this thing to work and I have a doctorate (and I taped the directions to the top of it). Thus, I will take the batteries out - which probably have nearly all of their charge left because I didn't use this device more than two times - and I will send this can opener off to the Goodwill. If any of my family or friends is reading this and wants it, I will bring it to you if you text or email me. Either way, it's outta here!

Friday, February 4, 2011


This evening, I went to our hallway/linen/medicine closet for eighty-sixing inspiration. I'm always overwhelmed by the things I find there, like expired medications and lotions with defunct pumps, it's like I don't even know where the space begins and ends. But, then, I saw it. It's a bottle or perfume made by Avon called "Haiku". I've had this bottle of perfume for a long time. I even remember who got it for me - my Aunt Cathie. But, what happened to it? It was placed along with a bunch of other junk in the closet and lost forever and I forgot I even had it until just now. I sprayed it and I get the feeling - after all of these years - that it once smelled much better than it does at this point. The ironic thing about finding it was in the same area was an instruction booklet for one of the many thermometers I eighty-sixed at the onset of this resolution. Thus, this eighty-six is kind of two part by happenstance!

I leave you with this haiku about Haiku:

It is not your fault,
You were lost amongst the stuff,
Off you go, Haiku.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Diet - Cola - Other

Sometimes you have to go back to the same well for eighty-sixing material, so that's what I've done this evening. I've realized our utensil drawer needs help. If you're one of those people that keeps all of your utensils orderly, good for you, but this is not us. Our utensil drawer is a repository for all things random that may have something to do with cooking. So, I was digging around in there tonight and found a myriad of weird things, which I'm sure I'll get to later in this blog, including a plastic lid to a to go cup container. I took it out and thought long and hard about why I would have this in the utensil drawer. For one, it's not a utensil. Second, it's useless without the cup that goes with it. Then I realized that the cup that matches this lid is in the cupboard. It's been there for at least a year and I've never once used this lid with it. Thus, why keep the lid? The answer is easy - there is no reason to keep the lid. The lid simply made its way into the drawer for some reason and has remained pushed to the back for over a year doing nothing but taking up space.
I think the utensil drawer should be afraid of what the future holds - lots of eighty-sixing. It sounds crazy, but I swear I saw pipe cleaners in there.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Groundhog Day started out well. Phil didn't see his shadow; thus, Spring will be here soon (I'm predicting March 21st). This was good news to start the day, but then I fell on the sidewalk just before getting in my car to leave for the day and my whole body, neck, and right side are currently suffering. It seems that where I work was the only place open in the entire state. It was ridiculous. Anyway, I'm not gonna type too much as I need to soak in the tub to see if I can prevent any morning muscle spasms or stiff neck syndrome. Plus, it hurts to hunch over this keyboard.
Anyway...for Christmas, my best friend, Lynsay, got me an iPhone 4 cover. At that time, my goal was to get an iPhone in the new year. As it so turns out, I wasn't that keen on the iPhone and I went with a Windows phone, which so far, I adore. But, that leaves me with a useless phone case. It just so happens that Lynsay plans to get herself an iPhone this month, the month when Verizon becomes AT&T's fiercest rival and also offers Apple products, so she can put this case to good use. I will give it to her Sunday when I see her for Superbowl. Perhaps she'll even have her new phone by then!
Stay safe and warm everyone (if you live in a warm state, I don't care what you do!).

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

"People like blood sausage too, people are morons"

So far, we have survived the weather. I was not a pretty sight this morning as I cursed at every person and thing I could think of as I dug my car from its ice encasement. Just as I had calmed myself - with images of kittens and puppies - my ice scraper broke. "Now this means war!" I shouted out as I tried to think of my next move - break something or regain my composure and not wake up the entire neighborhood with my ranting. Mind you, this is already twenty good minutes into Operation De-ice. So, I composed myself and remembered a baby ice scraper I had buried deep in my trunk's recesses. It took me a good bit of searching - which I had to do with one hand so I could hold up the ice-ridden trunk which weighed so much it could cleave my head off if my neck were to make its way under the latch. And there it was, the baby ice scraper. I thought of my old ice scraper - it eclipsed the baby ice scraper in all ways - and wished I could will it back together for just ten more minutes. It was magnificent, with a large brush and long handle, so useful and handy. The small ice scraper - one of those you see at a gas station convenient store - was hard to use because one simply can't get that much leverage behind something so small. But, it is what it is.
Then, it occurred me - I will have to do the same thing again tomorrow! And, while this upset me, I realized it's so fitting as tomorrow is GROUNDHOG DAY! I just love this day. Also, if I actually do stay home tomorrow due to inclement weather I will be able to watch Groundhog Day the movie, with Bill Murray, until my eyes fall out and I quote all of my favorite scenes (title of this post is an example)! So really, something good has come out of all of this bad weather.
Enjoy your Groundhog Day and remember to watch the movie if you haven't seen it yet. Bill Murray is truly genius.
And, in case you didn't get it by now, my old ice scraper is the eighty-sixed item of the day. Here's a pic of it - post glory days, of course.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Shine on

This morning I don't believe I heard Pierre let out an aidez-moi (help me) as I took out the trash. I hope he finds a like-minded chef in whatever land fill he ends up occupying. Today, I find myself in quite a hurry to find something to eighty-six before all the power lines become too heavy with a thick sheet of ice before they snap and send us all back to a time before electricity (and the Internet! EEK!). That's right, nearly a quarter of the country is bracing for homewardboundness as another large storm system sweeps across the nation. Mark went to the store today and characterized it as madness and the news is using words like "catastrophic" regarding the weather that's currently bearing down on us. I am not afraid. We have enough eggs, milk, and bread to go on for some time. We have a full tank of gas for our grill. I even managed to score gas for my car on the way home - yes, I'm one of those people that had an empty tank on the day Armageddon decided to take vengeance - as I was the only compact car at the station that could occupy the tiny space next to an oddly placed pump (sorry SUV suckers!). Thus, before I drag on any longer in this post, today I will eighty-six a pair of "Shine" batteries. That's right, not Duracell or EverReady (this word was in spell check!), just quite simply, Shine brand. They were part of Pierre's life for quite some time where they were nestled comfortably in his cozy chef hat. They are "extra heavy duty", made in Taiwan, and in the company's effort to make me feel like they are somewhat environmentally conscious folk, they have a baby pine tree printed on them. (Aw.) Alas, like Pierre they are useless; thus,they will make their way to the battery recycling bin at work - if I can ever get there again!
And now off to what I do best - nest and bake. I mean, I'm gonna need something to eat if it's dark and the power's out!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Adieu, Pierre (je suis desolee)

I discovered today that our utensil drawer is ripe for eighty-sixing. Thus, I found this trendy meat thermometer in there that I either got for myself or my mom got for me:

Isn't his mignon (cute)! Anyway, Pierre, which is what I call him due to his French-like look, has been in the drawer for probably two years now without use. As I just said, I'm unsure if my mom got this for me or if I got it for myself as there's a temperature range taped on the back which must have been cut from the box Pierre came in and that seems like something either my mom or I would do (wow that was a long sentence!). The temperature range numbers on the back correspond to the guide engraved on Pierre's torso - very rare, rare, medium, med. well, well, pork/poultry. Again, I remember about two years ago when I took Pierre out to the grill to pierce a piece of meat and nothing happened. I checked his batteries - tucked cleverly in his chef's hat - but that didn't seem to be the problem. Thus, after that point Pierre's ability to accurately predict meat temperatures was haphazard and dangerous. It was frustrating to me, but instead of throwing him away I just shoved him back in the drawer. I suppose I thought with time he would heal (isn't that what happens to electronics?). Anyway, I saw him today and just realized if he isn't useful then he must be eighty-sixed. Thus, with that we bid Pierre adieu.

I am a puppet

If you have or have ever had a pet you know this: pets rule our lives. I am definitely a puppet to our two cats. The worst habit I have is trying to find food that they like. Since getting our cats three years ago, I've tried lots of different foods. The last food was a dry Fancy Feast, which they loved, but it caused too much random throw up for my taste. So, we're on to greater things and after our one cat suffered a bladder infection I went more expensive - now we use Blue Buffalo (highly recommended). But, this most recent switch left me with a huge stockpile of Fancy Feast. So, tonight when my friend Phil was over - another cat lover - I gave him the two giant containers of Fancy Feast. I do admit that while the food is gone the containers will make their way back so I can use them for the new food, but it's still an eighty-six as something left that isn't coming back to our home.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Ahhh...we meet again

In almost all kitchens, we have the catch all drawer that contains something like this: scissors, matches from a restaurant we went to, a rubber band from some broccoli we bought forever ago, a measuring tape, batteries...but some of us have two drawers. (Go figure, we have two.) My second drawer is full of sauce packets. My "sauce drawer" contains sauces of the pseudo-Mexican variety - Taco Bell - and pseudo-Chinese kind - any American Chinese place not in a "Chinatown" area. Today, I realized that nearly all of the Taco Bell sauce in this drawer is rancid. We don't eat out much, so I suppose that's why. I was cracking open a packet and realized the sauce was mostly brown and the water was separating from the actual spices. [Insert grossed out look on face here.] So, all of the Taco Bell sauce has been extracted - as has the spicy mustard sauce that is no longer a mustard color - and they have been properly eighty-sixed in our trash bin. The soy sauce remains - I'm pretty sure the shelf life on soy sauce is infinity and that it could survive a nuclear holocaust.

Note: The title of this post, "Ahhh...we meet again," is a quote from a Taco Bell mild sauce packet.