Ch, ch, ch, Chia!

The Chia pet is a ridiculous invention. It's one of those "As Seen on TV" things that exploded for no known reason. Kind of like the Snuggie. And yes, I have owned a Chia Pet and I currently own a Snuggie. I keep the latter in my car for "Snug-mergencies". I guess I think I'm clever saying it that way. Anyway, the last Chia pet I received, I say last as it seems like I had one before but I can't remember when, was given to me by my brother and his girlfriend. I remember getting it and thinking OK, why not. I did what the instructions said and I placed the seedlings in water and smoothed them over the Chia pet - for some reason, I can't remember which Chia I received, but I think it was something like a Simpson's character's head (or something in that vein). Anyway, a few days later, I found my Chia pet, actually, let's call it a Chia "head" as that's what it was, in a state of complete and total disrepair. The seedlings had only sprouted in all the wrong places and my Chia head looked like it had been a victim of medical malpractice of the hair plug variety. Then, I noticed the fruit flies. Gross. I don't do fruit flies. If I see a fruit fly, that's that. So, the Chia head made it's way into the trash. But, the funny thing about my Chia pet/head/kit was that it came with a miniature deck of Chia playing cards. Why? Who knows. That is the complete and total brilliance behind those things that fall under the "As Seen on TV" category of goods. As any decent I-can-use-these-later-so-I'll-store-them-in-this-random-basket-person would do, I placed the cards in a basket on my kitchen table. I think I received my Chia head some three years ago and just yesterday I found the miniature cards, unsealed in a plastic wrapper, in the same basket as the classless sunglasses I eighty-sixed yesterday.  Therefore, today's eighty-six should be obvious at this point. I truly hope the cards make a great gift for some little kid out there somewhere.